Tuesday, September 18, 2018

The Gift of Anger?!





Where Fear Meets Anger...

Gavin DeBecker's book "The Gift of Fear" make some really good points about that gut feeling you get that will keep you safe.

Most people are pretty clear about why we feel fear

However...

Less people know what to do with Anger, let alone how to USE it as a tactical advantage!

When we can throw off all of our current stigmas that coincide with anger, namely, loss of control, guilt, shame, bullying, victimizing... etc.

You can see anger for what it truly is and what it can be used for.

ACTION!

Anger Equals Action!

Yep, When you're Angry, sh*t gets done!

Now I don't mean unbridled rage, temper tantrums or anything to that extreme. I'm talking about feeling the emotion of anger, harnessing it and using it to your advantage!

If you can accomplish that, you can use the energy that anger gives you to good use.

However...

In this age of "being a victim" is power, the only thing we seem to use anger to fuel is blaming, resentment and passive aggression that can lead to greater acts of violence and sometimes tragic consequences including suicide, 'lone wolf' attacks and terrorist activities.

We have become a society where we learn (and are expected) to suppress a lot of anger, rather than being taught to understand how to use it properly.



Barbarism?!

Today anger is often seen as a rude, unnecessary, loss of control and barbarism that which isn't tolerated by our 'civilized' society. It appears that we would much rather deal with things (initially) in a more passive, politically correct way (faux respect), than meet things head on appropriately, but more assertively.

So we've mastered a wide array of passive (and not so passive, but one might say cowardly) aggression that seem to be more accepted.

Trolling, cyber bullying, ghosting, blaming, playing the victim, (to a lessor or greater degree) entitlement, complaining or protesting w/o lifting a finger to actually help, are just some of the examples of what is transpiring.

It's easy to light up your (or someone else's) social media page w/your words (and memes) of violent protest, or even put up a sign in the lawn about your convictions. Some may even go to the extent of picketing or putting on a demonstration...

All fine! It's great living in a country where we not only can do these things, but have the right to do so...

However...

It's like being in a meeting with people who all have such good idea's about how it 'should be' done (typically something that they don't have to deal with directly themselves)...

Then...

When it comes time for someone to step forward to actually do something about it, no one has anything but excuses as to why it 'should' be different, but they are too busy or otherwise indisposed to dig in and actually help implement the change they are suggesting. And/or the change is so idealistically unrealistic at this time it doesn't leave room of how things happen in real time.

It's easy to be an 'arm chair quarter back!'

But don't miss read me, I'm not advocating that voicing your protest is wrong, nor that violence as the ultimate way to manage conflict. I'm just saying that it's easier to complain than actually DO something and it appears that the pendulum has swung in that direction (some might say quite a bit).


Use It... Don't Lose It!

Use the intensity your anger gives you for (appropriate) action. Don't just 'lose it' and wast all that raw energy on being impulsive!

If you are taught to use your emotions they are your ally...

Unfortunately today we are taught to suppress many emotions that we find 'unsavory', we lack the mentoring necessary to teach others how to use that energy correctly to gain the advantages they were meant to give.

Another reason for good training!

Good training will help you to not only navigate those emotions, but use them to your distinct advantage.

If you suppress them they are not only useless, they are a detriment in the moment and will cause serious psychological/emotional problems in your life.


An Observation...

I'm no sociologist but I believe that part of what we are experiencing today, which is across the board a DECREASE in 'standard' forms of social violence, but an INCREASE in more extremes like suicide, active shooting events and terrorism (each of these categories have risen extensively in the past 20 years), is due to this trend of teaching (a.d.a. socializing) people to be more passive beyond the point of comfort and what we would naturally, instinctively do on our own (or possibly it is the transition or social 'evolution' that we are experiencing with such resistance?).

So, most people in the the mainstream comply and are, more or less minimally negatively affected emotionally or psychologically. However at the extremes, the people on the fringe have a greater reaction to the suppression, thus losing their 'release' valve so to speak, which results in the increase of the more extreme forms of violence...

This coupled with the 'establishment' (which could be our government, school, place of work, etc... basically our society as a whole) has become less tolerant of lessor forms of violence and more idealistic as to outcomes of how situations should be handled. Not to mention making claims that are not and cannot always be backed up...

Namely, 'we' don't trust you to protect yourself. 'We' will protect you. But when that doesn't happen it leaves most people in a social/emotional gridlock of confusion, doubt, frustration, fear and anger.

We are (often) taught that standing up for ourselves is wrong or that the margin for error or misjudgment is so fine and the consequence for stepping out of line so great, that the infraction of not following the establishments rules supersedes that of the violator infringement of the victim.

WOW!

We are taught that we don't have the expertise necessary to do a good enough job and we need someone of authority to do it on our behalf.

We begin to believe that we are not 'authorized' to protect ourselves. So, we begin to do it less. Relying on the authorities more...

And for the most part that works, because we DO live in an overall less violent society.

But for some, when they've been taught that they will be taken care of, but then the establishment doesn't protect them...

The feeling of resentment is multiplied by feeling betrayed because they've been taught that going against the establishment holds a greater consequence than someone victimizing them.

At  a deep level they want to do as their society expects, however they are sick and tired of feeling victimized, marginalized and disrespected (imagined or real)...

So they begin to feel resentment, becoming more conflicted, confused and angry.

In they're head they create a bigger enemy...

And that, in extreme cases can motivate some to:

Implode - Suicide
Explode - Active shooter, 'lone wolf' attacks, active assailant, joining extremist groups and act terrorism, etc.

Now I realize that I have not dug my heels in to do a full researched study... and probably won't, but that is my view of it at this point in time with the research I have done, what I see happening and the experiences I have had.
 

So, How Do YOU Turn Your Anger Into An Advantage?!
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And What Does Israel Have to Do With It?!

I'll tell you in the next post!

In the meantime...

Have a Great Day!


All the best,
~Craig


P.S. Get more FREE Tips, Tricks & Tactics about Living a Protector's Life - Sign up on www.peacewalkersubscribe.com.


Tuesday, September 11, 2018

9/11... Do You Wish You Were There?


Picture Courtesy of Tom Collins


Fall came in fast...

Today I am in a bit of a reflective mood about the shock and tragedy that happened 17 years ago. It could just as well have been yesterday for me... It's still that clear in my memory... Where I was... What I was doing... How I was feeling... The phone calls... Watching events unfold... But I was one of the millions of people who weren't actually there...

But I have friends who were... Police, firefighters, friends.

Not everyone made it...

But, we all remember...

And that reminds me of Israel and what an Israeli friend of mine said about the attitude of many in that culture...


I Wish I Was There...


When a terrorist attack occurs many people think "I'm so lucky I wasn't there."

And don't get me wrong I would say that would be a pretty rational and intuitive thing to think...

However...

Some of my friends and colleagues from Israel have a different perspective. When something happens, when a tragedy occurs these people think...

If only I were there I could have helped in some way!

The cop may think...

If only I were there l could have helped and maybe I could have stopped the terrorist...

The firefighter may think...

If only I were there I could have helped and maybe I could have rescued more people...

The medic may think...

If only I were there I could have helped, maybe I could have helped save more people...

The citizen may think...

If only I were there I could have done SOMETHING, ANYTHING to help, maybe I could have made a difference...


Lifestyle vs. a Technique


This is why I train.

This is why I teach.

This is why I created this Community & Resource...

To help people recognize the importance of... and develop the skills to Build a Protectors LIFESTYLE!

Yes, learn good techniques. But, more importantly, develop a BETTER Lifestyle. A Protector's Lifestyle.

All cliche's and BS aside...

I want more people to become PeaceWalkers. To walk in peace. To know how to handle conflict w/o creating more of it.  To be clear about what they are protecting and to do most good / least harm.

To LIVE, PROTECT & INSPIRE!

In order to do that you have to surround yourself by healthy people who are on the same path. You have to train in the right way. STOP just thinking so much about technique and start thinking about HOW YOU LIVE! You have to LIVE the right way and develop a Lifestyle of a Protector!
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Why Do You Train?!


If you train to defend yourself, you're thinking Too Small! If you train to defend your family, as noble as that may be, you're still thinking Too Small! 

Train so you can be clear, train so you CAN Protect yourself, your family, your friends, your colleagues and yes, train so you can protect that person you don't even know... Train so that You don't become part of the problem!  Train so that...

Everyone Is a Little Bit Safer Because You Are There!

Train that you are so Clear about what you are really protecting. That way, if you don't have the direct skills, you have a better chance of figuring out the details.

Train so you won't compromise your ethic.

Do not train to learn techniques...

TRAIN For LIFE!

...and

Keep Going!

  
All the best,
~Craig



To Learn More Skills for Developing a Protectors Life - Subscribe Up Here for my FREE Newsletter. www.peacewalkersubscribe.com

Monday, September 10, 2018

Fearless is BS





I feel good today, not fearless, but courageous...

Why... Well, let me first say this,

Fearless is Bulls#*t!

Yep, I said it!

...and I meant it!

Don't confuse fearless with Courageousness!

Being courageous is feeling fear and moving forward anyway!

Move Forward Despite Your Fear.
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There are times when I am fearless. I'm not saying that it's never happened, but it's rare.

Yes, I've had some:

"Dude hold my drink and watch THIS," moments, where I was truly fearless (and careless). Those don't always go well for most folks.

Anyway, all joking aside, most of our biggest gains in life are when we are FAR FROM FEARLESS.

Rather we are full of fear, but we don't let that fear paralyze us from moving forward in a positive direction.
How Does This Apply to Conflict Management?

It's easy to get caught up in the fear, anxiety and drama of our inner voice. It is more likely to happen to you when you are under stress and (obviously) during conflict.

When we come from a place of fear we tend to be reactionary. We either over react, under react, react inappropriately for the situation, or don't respond at all when we should.

To make matters worse, when there is a lot of reinforcement to be "fearless," some begin to believe that we shouldn't feel it so when we do we need to:

(A) Hide it.
(B) Suppress it.
(C) Feel guilty for feeling it.

All of these can be detrimental in the moment of managing the situation, afterward in your relationships and also for your own personal health.

Fear is natural. It is there for a reason. But, don't let it control you or persuade you to make bad choices (...and we ALL know how persuasive fear can be!).

Reacting vs. Responding

So, how can we train to Respond vs. React during conflict.

Let's get one thing straight, I'm talking conflict Physically, Verbally, Emotionally, Psychologically, Socially, etc!

Well, in order to Respond rather than React during a stressful situation, you have to practice staying what we PeaceWalkers call...
...BASELINE

Baseline is made up of three key components:

Attitude
Awareness
Appropriate Action

*We actually have an entire training section in the PeaceWalker Conflict Management Course available on the PeaceWalker Membership Site, of what baseline is, why its so important and HOW TO REMAIN in it during conflict. Check it out SOON!

Having the proper Attitude, Awareness and Ability to Act Appropriately during the situation is key to overcoming the reactionary state caused by fear.

This is a bigger subject than we have time for in today's (almost) daily email. How about we cover each individually.

But, before we get into that...

Let's cover one of the key components that precludes this and will help you BIG TIME! When it comes to gaining and maintaining Baseline...

Tactical Grounding...

WTH?! Is "Tactical Grounding?"

I'm glad you asked...

It is a simple method for quickly gaining your composure so that you can gain and maintain baseline during moments of stress and conflict.

It's a simple three step process...

(1) Take a Deep Breath and Stand Up Straight.
(2) Change Your Mindset to Positive Things Like, "I got this!"
(3) Put Your "Game Face" On.

Oh, what is your "game face?"

This is your facial expression the suits the situation.

If you need to appear empathetic. Look the part.  If you need to look stern. Look the part.

Don't appear silly if the situation calls for you to be serious. Don't look mad if the situation requires you to look kind.

You have to be a bit of an actor and remember to...

Breathe Damn It! BREATHE!

I use this a lot when I'm driving!


Keep going,
~Craig


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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

PeaceWalker Case Study: Rob Barrett


Part 1

Hear how Rob Barrett uses the PeaceWalker perspective in his life & career as a high school teacher.

See Part 2 Here!


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Sunday, August 26, 2018

How to Be More Convincing




What if you could convince yourself that the smallest change in how you train, treat people or say something can make a huge difference in increasing your success influencing a situation? How would that positively affect your life and job?

Well, here's a quick Communication Tip that I picked up a long time ago from Zig Ziglar (way back in my sales days). It can help you influence someone to listen to an idea you have.

...AND actually sell themselves on the idea!!

Here's how it goes...

Instead of saying, "If I can convince you that..." say, "If you could convince yourself that ..." Then continue emphasizing the benefits of what you are having them consider.

Here's an example:

Not this: "Jerry, if I can convince you that learning how to influence people through inspiration rather than intimidation is so much more effective, would you listen to what I had to say?"

THIS! "Jerry, if you could convince yourself that influencing people through inspiration rather than intimidation is so much more effective in getting what you wanted, what would that look like?"

Yes, some people will look at you w/a slack jaw and say,

"I don't know." 

Or they might come back at you w/a sarcastic comment like,

"It wouldn't look like anything, because I ain't convincing myself of na'thin from the likes of you."

You're right, no trick or technique work's on everybody all of the time, but it is another powerful tool that often works to your benefit when attempting to influence someone.

This one flips things around psychologically in their head and takes the focus off from you trying to convince them and subtly invites then to figure out ways of convincing themselves.

So What Do You Do If It Doesn't Work!?

Great question!

That's why maintaining a good Baseline and having other tools in your toolbox is so important!

That's exactly why I developed PeaceWalker.net to give you the resources to protect yourself (and others) Verbally, Physically & Emotionally.

Feeling safe and confident when dealing w/difficult & dangerous people will give you the room to do your job, run your business, teach your class, complete your mission, or do whatever else you are aiming to accomplish at your job or in your Life!

...All while living a safer, healthier, happier Life!

Why do you have to worry about it!?

Easy!

No matter who you are, or what you do, we all have to deal with people! And with people comes CONFLICT.

...And opportunities, but only if you know how to deal with things well!

So, the more you learn about how to stay cool under pressure, talk more persuasively, and knowing if it all goes to 'hell in a hand basket,' that you can protect yourself, the less you worry. The less you worry, the more you have the time and energy for everything else in your life!

And THAT'S what it's all about!

So, don't miss your opportunity to improve your Life & Career by Learning more about these skills and connecting with a community of people who are on the same page as you are!

How?!

By joining PeaceWalker.net!

You can start by signing up for my FREE Newsletter HERE!

In the meantime...


Keep Going,
~Craig

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

See Something Say Something!




Awareness is incredibly important skill to have for our survival & success!

Across the country, in our communities, we share everyday moments with our neighbors, family, coworkers, and friends. We go to work or school, the grocery store, or the gas station. It's easy to overlook these routine moments, but as you’re going about your day if you see something that doesn't seem quite right, say something. By being alert and reporting suspicious activity to your local law enforcement you can protect your family, neighbors, and community.
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"If You See Something, Say Something®" is a program through the Department of Homeland Security that was designed to help engage the public in protecting our homeland through awareness-building, partnerships, and other outreach.

To report suspicious activity please contact your local law enforcement. Describe specifically what you observed, including:
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Who or what you saw;
When you saw it;
Where it occurred; and
Why it's suspicious.
If there is an emergency, call 9–1–1.

Learn It, Live It, Teach It! For all of us!


Keep Going,
~Craig


P.S. - If you would like to get more FREE Exclusive Tips, Tricks & Tactics to Living a Protectors Life... Go to www.peacewalkersubscribe.com & sign up!


Thursday, August 16, 2018

Evolution of a Protector




Here are the elements of the Evolution of a Protector… 

The process to becoming a PeaceWalker…

IDENTITY – Clarity in (1) Who will you choose to be? (2) What will you choose to see in others (separating their Life Value from Behavior & Beliefs)

ATTITUDE – (1) Seeing Conflict as an Opportunity. (2) Focusing on the right things. (3) Setting The Pace.

AWARENESS – (1) Yourself, (2) The Potential Threat (3) Situational Environment.

INFLUENCE – Your presence, Your verbal communication skills - What you say (and don’t), Your Behavior - What you Do (and don’t).

PHYSICAL ACTION – How to Engage or Disengage.

*You’ll notice that Krav Maga mainly touches on one of those categories… Physical Action, which Ironically is the last category! Yes, an important one, but it's only ONE!

Clarity and continued work on your Identity is essential!

WHY?!

Because it doesn't matter how much skill you have if you don't have clarity in your PROTECTOR IDENTITY, you are likely to use your skills in the wrong way.

Remember that your Ethic creates your Strategy that drive your Tactics & Techniques! So, if you're Ethics aren't clear or pointing toward Most Good / Least Harm, it will detrimentally affect the rest of your plans and actions!

I could go on about each of those sections... and I do discuss them more in my upcoming Video Series "The Evolution of a Protector."


More later...

Keep going,
~Craig


P.S.  For FREE Exclusive Tips & Tactics on Living a Protectors Life & Being a PeaceWalker -Subscribe to My Newsletter www.peacewalkersubscribe.com