Showing posts from November, 2016


You could look at an anchor in a number of ways such as a heavy object attached to a rope or chain and used to moor a vessel to the sea bottom. An anchor can also be meant figuratively in a negative way like, "they're holding you down like an anchor." The reference can also be said in a positive way; such as, "that really anchors me." The reference I would like to discuss is meant in a positive way. Things that anchor us, giving us stability, safety and comfort.  The holiday rituals that some of us have developed can act as an anchor (obviously they can have the opposite effect as well!). Doing the same things over and over can bring a sense of structure and comfort. Sometimes we may not even realize the calming effect some of these things bring into our lives until they are no longer there. These "things" include people (and other companions) , places, events, routines, songs, etc. I realize how lucky I have been to have had many positive an

Drawing Boundaries

We often see how being too assertive or gung ho can be hazardous, however, so can being too gun shy or passive. Failing to define and communicate clear boundaries can get us (and others) into trouble as easily as being hot headed. The first step of this process is being clear on what your boundaries are. This may sound easy, but it's not always as clear cut as one might think. Take something "simple" like losing weight. Going on a diet to limit your calories (setting a boundary) sounds easy enough, however people fail at it because it is more difficult than just eating less. Being clear about what and why you are doing something is necessary. The clearer you are able to connect your why, what and how (and leave some room for a little flexibility) the more successful you'll be. It is easy to drift off target, so clarity is important. The clearer the better. The how involves communicating your clarity to others in a way that gets your point across non-verbally, ver

Put "Thanks" Back in Thanksgiving

It's the day before Thanksgiving. A cold rainy day. A good day for contemplation. But, instead of eagerly awaiting tomorrows festivities with family and thankfulness, I sit here at my favorite coffee house feeling anxious about other things. Many things. Too many things. It is easy to let the uncertainties of life erode your feelings of well being. It's also easy to let your "certainties" get at you too. Sometimes its difficult to feel thankful for those things that you have, when you are too busy being anxious about what you don't have, can't do or want to change. Grounding yourself can help you to be in this moment, so you can let go of all of the things that prevent you from being thankful and enjoying your time with your loved ones and yourself. There are many grounding methods, but here is a simple one that only takes a couple seconds and you can do anytime, anywhere: Take a deep breath. Straighten your posture (spine straight, shoulders back &

Split Decision: The 2016 Presidential Election

  It has been an emotional time for many as this tumultuous election season comes to a close. Many Americans are satisfied with the outcome of the election and many aren't.  It saddens me to read the venom on facebook from people on both sides of the political spectrum. Winning with grace and losing with dignity seems to be a lesson just out of reach at the moment.  I am fortunate that I have a diverse group of friends ranging from staunch Republican to ultra liberal Democrats. From my LGBT and professor friends to my military and law enforcement com padres', perspectives often clash in their views of how things are and should be. I love them all (people not views), even when I don't agree with them. The greatness of our country is that we have a government where we hold public elections, choose and change political officials without the violence of a bloody revolution (for the most part). We have a system of checks and balances and term limits. We live with comprom