Monday, October 22, 2018

Dealing With Non-Compliant People




Let me be clear, this is ONE WAY to deal with someone who is not doing as you asked...

It is NOT THE ONLY WAY... It is simply one way...

No, it won't magically make someone succumb to your every request, it is just simply clearly communicating expectations and setting boundaries.

Here's the Process!


When you clearly asked something of someone and they agreed to do what you asked, but didn't:


You:

"Based on what we agreed on, my expectation was (say what was agreed upon)."

"However, what happened was (describe what actually happened)."

"So, the impact was (describe how the situation affected not only that person, but if you can, how those actions [or lack of] affected a bigger picture and/or others)."

"What happened?"

(LISTEN) Then Say:
 
"I hear what you're saying. I've had things happen before too. So, let me get this straight (Ask any questions you need to clarify what they said w/o arguing w/them... once they answer then  say...)"

"So what you are saying is (reflecting back what they told you...), is that right?


At this time you have to determine how to move forward, but if done right, you opened up the conversation in a way that you can address the situation more clearly.

It's important to stay BASELINE (have a cool head, the right tone and intention) when you are talking to this person.

This will make it easier to get to the bottom of things and better understand how to proceed.

I'll be introducing a number of tips, tricks and tactics on conflict communication skills in preparation for our LIVE On-Line Conflict Communications Course coming in January.

In the meantime, have a great day and...


Keep Going,
~Craig

Monday, October 15, 2018

Does More Skill Make You More Ethical?





Does More Skill Make You More Ethical?

I've trained my entire life...

I'm no stranger to violence...

In the ring...

My youth...

My job...

Life...

I've met, learned from and trained the best in the world...

Martial arts... Tactical training... Sport... Military... Law enforcement... Private security... Domestic & overseas...

However, some of the toughest people that I know are some of the nicest...

Those folks who know they can take care of themselves and don't have anything to prove...

I was fortunate, because I was taught this first and foremost by my Dad and Grandpa (on my Mom's side).

Both were strong good male figures who trained me more by what they did than what they said.

Neither were perfect... They had their shortcomings like we all have... But in my eyes they were great men by their own right and their flaws only made them more interesting.

Regardless, I owe so much to them that this post cannot begin to express my gratitude or that feeling of fortunate I was to have these men in my life.

They taught me the difference between right and wrong... They taught me how to stand up for myself and to protect others. Again... Not by what they said as much as what they did.

My dad's father basically was the Marine Corps. He lied about his age to join the service in the late 1950's. He felt compelled to help his family because his father abandoned him, his mom and her other 4 kids, leaving her (my grandma) to support the household alone, at a time when it was looked upon very differently than it is today.

Dad was stationed in Okinawa and the Philippines (Where BTW he trained in both boxing and Karate). He sent money home as he served as an MP during a time of social unrest, when segregation was unraveling.

His Life experiences with his dad and family as well as his time in the Corps forever changed him as a person...

Later after he married my Mom, he and her Dad developed a close relationship. I don't know, because my Dad is a man of few words... But, I believe he found the father he never had in my Grandpa.

My Grandfather never served in the military due to health issues, but he lived an adventurous protector's Life all the same, beginning with both of his parents dying at and early age, forcing him and his brother to make a choice to continue school, or get a factory job to support the family.

My Grandpa graduated from the 8th grade and then went to work to support the family...

Later, after he married my Grandma, when the Great Depression hit, he 'Hoboed' around for 10 years on the trains travelling the country looking for work, so he could send money home to support his family.

When I was a kid he would tell me of his adventures on the trains and all of the crazy jobs he took to earn money...

Some of more interesting jobs were, working as a carnie, where he boxed any takers. The carnival lied about his 'record' saying he was some big boxing champion (he wasn't)... No google back then! =)

You'd pay to fight the "champ," if you won you'd get the pay off, if you lost you lost your money and your pride...

I'm sure there was a fair amount of side betting going on as well, making the stakes even higher.

Funny... I remember him telling me how they rigged the fights...

Not only would they rig the rounds (ringing the bell when the opponent was getting the better of my Grand dad... And letting the round go a bit longer when he was giving the lickin'...)

Sometimes Grandpa said he would sand bag or fake that he was more tired or beat up than he really was to drive up the side betting.

Then...WHAM!

One of the things that they did to further ensure that the odds were in their favor was that they would give the unsuspecting challenger 18oz gloves, whereas Grandpa had 6oz that looked the same as the others...

And the cherry on top were the penny rolls that he held on to inside the gloves to finish the deal.

He had some other interesting jobs flying a crop duster down near the Mexican boarder too... Where he may have been doing more than just crop dusting down there over the Mexican boarder... 

But those are stories for another time...


Nice... But How Does That Relate to Our Subject?!


You may be thinking...

Thanks for the interesting family stories...

But how do they relate to the topic of more skill equaling better ethics?

Well, both my Dad & Grandpa were confident men who knew how to stand up for themselves and had the physical skills and experience to do it.

They also lived lives filled with adversity and consequence, where they chose to sacrifice of themselves to protect their families...

Where did they pick those values up from!? To be honest, I don't know... But, I suppose mentors that they had in their lives...

Regardless... They taught me those same values less by what came out of their mouths and more by how they Lived their Lives.

And... I've been trying to follow their lead for 48 some years now...



Men of Few Words...


My Dad was a man of few words... My Grandpa... not so much... He was a sparkplug...

Regardless, both were men of action where words, however many or few had better be backed up w/action. When either of them said something, they meant it! Which brings us to our Subject and the Communication Tip of the Day...


Don't Say Something You Can't Follow Through With.


If you are tempted to hand out a strong boundary. You know a "Do It Or Else" ultimatum. Don't throw down that Trump Card, unless you're willing and able to deliver on said promise. Empty threats are only as good as someone calling your bluff. Especially if you interact w/that person on a regular basis. Once that person (or people) knows you're blowing smoke and full of hot air, you become a 'paper tiger' and your negotiation leverage is gone, along w/respect and your reputation. 

Which brings us to the skills and being ethical part...

What happens in a debate when the person doesn't have the skill to win the argument, but still wants to have an upper hand?!

That's right, they start 'playing dirty'. Mud slinging, insults, even threats are what typically come next.

It's the same with a physical engagement...

The real dirty tricks come out of desperation. The fear of losing, due to lack of skill, stamina, or superior weapons, tactics, etc.

Business can be the same...

FEAR fuels both (1) Greed (wanting what you want at any cost) and (2) desperation for survival.

When you start down that path of playing dirty or hitting low or "Total War" as a reaction (because you don't have a choice it 'just comes out') rather than a tactic (trained and calculated to be done at the right time for the right reason), it typically leads to ill decisions, regret and the stories we tell ourselves to keep us in the good light of justification...

I did it because...

The more Clear, Skilled and Courageous you are, the easier it is to be ethical. Easier, not to be confused with Easy! There is a lot of weight in the 'ier'! =)

Yes, sometimes people need a good a$$ kicking, but as a last resort, for the right reasons. So, if an ultimatum is necessary and you're the one who is going to be Thor's Hammer, you better be able to...



"Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is..."



Remember...

Living a Protector's LifeStyle is about Living a Better Life! That means you are on a constant journey of personal development... It never ends! 

So, you have to keep developing your Skills. Because, having Clarity about you ethics and finding the space inside of you to be Courageous to do the right thing. Which isn't always the Easy Thing.



All the Best,
~Craig



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Sunday, October 7, 2018

Krav Ma... Squirrel!!




All of my weekend social events had me thinking about how much we rely on verbal communication, not only for casual conversation, but also during conflict. It is an intricate part of interacting with others.

Have you ever known someone who can talk their way out of (and into) anything? Someone who has learned to weaponize their words to be persuasive or even deceiving? They can use their words to spin a spell that has a certain control over others.

It's a skill that is largely overlooked not so much in action but in TRAINING!

Most believe that you either 'have it' or don't...

And we both know that some folks seem to have been born with the gift of gab and others struggle...

However, you CAN learn how to do it!

So, in preparation for the LIVE On-Line PeaceWalker Conflict Communication Course coming in January, I wanted to start sharing some methods of using verbal communication as...


Another Facet of Defense

When most people train Krav Maga (or any self defense system), they pretty much just train physically.

Don't get me wrong, I get it... Aside from your kosher-warrior yell, it's not as sexy to add the verbal element to training. It substantially changes the feel of a normal training session...

However...

Real conflict involves talking. So, if you want to really be effective at defending yourself and managing conflict, learning how to control 'Tactical Space' verbally as well as physically is essential. Understanding how those two elements come together can be a very powerful combination to protecting yourself and others.

This is a large part of Living Life as a Protector...

There are many tactics to gain the advantage verbally. One of the methods that can be used to attain an advantage before you initiate a physical action is called a...


Pattern Interrupt...

It works like this...

We have certain patterns that we typically adhere to when communicating with people, These habits are difficult to break.  Further, if you know what they are, you can intentionally deviate and exploit them.

One of these patterns deals with the way we listen and respond to someone during a conversation.

It is kind of like a game of tennis, I hit the ball to you. You hit the ball back to me. We go back and forth. It develops a rhythm and an expectation that is predictable and can be used to gain a tactical advantage, if you know how to do it right...

Another way of thinking about it is playing fetch w/a dog...

You throw the ball, he runs, picks it up and brings it back to you to throw again. After doing it a couple times he is expecting you to throw it so he can retrieve it over and over... However, this time you pretend to throw it, but instead, you intentionally deceive him by feigning the throw, and secretly drop the ball behind you as you wind up for the throw.

It 'looks' like you threw the ball, so Fido chases what he thinks he sees, but there's no ball... He eventually figures it out, but in the meantime you get a little chuckle...

This verbal/mental trick works the same way...

There is a stimulus / stimulus response reaction that can slow down the physical reaction time allowing you to 'get the jump' on the other person.

We'll be covering a number of these tricks, but for today lets go over two...


Examples of a Pattern Interrupt:

1) Asking a question.
2) Initiating your action mid-sentence.

I. Asking questions is a good way to control the conversation (and gain data too). While the person is thinking about what to say, you can be using that time and distraction to your benefit.


II. Stopping mid...

...Sentence is another good trick to use to gain an advantage.

When we hear someone talk we are listening for their thought to be completed, so if the person talking doesn't complete the sentence, our brains typically hesitate a moment and then try to complete the phrase that was being communicated.

You can use this tendency to your advantage, by initiating your movement mid-sentence. So, while the persons mind is completing your sentence it gives you a split second to initiate your movement, forcing him to shift his gears mentally from the conversation to responding physically.

No, these tricks are not fool-proof, however if you smooth them out by practicing them, they can prove to be a valid way of distracting someone for the brief second that it will take to make your move (or escape).



Keep Going.
~Craig

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Tuesday, October 2, 2018

How to Turn Anger Into Acton




Anger, Action & Israel?!


A couple days ago we were talking about Anger. I promised you we'd talk about how to take that anger, focus it the right way and turn it into action. I also asked what Israel had to do with all of that!?
.
Well, we've already determined that when you're Angry, sh*t gets done!  So, let's build on that shall we?! =)


Turning Anger Into Action...


In order to start using your anger... First STOP resisting it!

WHAT?!?

Are you crazy Craig!?  If I do that I'll kill everything that MOVES some days!

Wait a minute... Listen to me first...

Stop resisting the feeling of your angry emotion.

Just because you FEEL something, it doesn't mean you have to act on it! Simply notice how you are feeling without judging it or acting on it... Just be aware of it! Then breath (from your belly) and decide if you need to act on it or not.

Sometimes it is alright (even good) to act on it...

Other times...

It'd be best to let the anger move through you and dissipate w/o any action on your part other than realizing that you're pissed.


How to Recognize the FEELING of Anger?


Although we all feel anger a bit differently, there are some distinct sensations we typically feel in our body...

1) A surge of energy raising from your stomach Upward!
2) It's typically warm or hot.
3) It may cause your face to turn pink or red.
4) An increase of heartbeat, blood pressure and temperature.

It often feels like a wave washing up over you!

How to Control It & Use It

(1) You have to be able to FEEL it!
(2) Let it flow...w/o letting it control you!
      HOW?!
      I. When you feel it just recognize it, relax and BREATHE!
(3) Decide if you're going to (a) use it, or (b) let it go.
(4) Adjust your perspective to:
        (I) Empowered Focus: Think Solutions, What You Can Do, Next Step.
        (II) You're going to start to demonize or dehumanize the other
              person/group/subject, so get ready for it!   
       (III) You're going to over exaggerate your own wants & needs, get ready for
               this too! It's easy to become self centered &overreact, even it out!
       (IV) Focus on Most Good /Least Harm for everyone... 


How Do You Train This Skill?

Simple not easy!!

(1) Start small... Yep, work on feeling and guiding your anger at a lower level. (lower levels of anger are: Frustration, Irritation, Annoyance, Impatience, Irritability, Grumpy, Cranky, etc.)
(2) Meditate - No it's not some weird religion or anything... Just pick a time once per day, sit your butt down (or stand) and for between 5 to 20 minutes just focus your attention on your breath. Breathe in and out and count your breaths (groups of 3 - 5 or 10). Don't think of anything... except counting your breath.
(3) Work on your Foundational Grounding... Basically how your living your life, treating yourself and others.

Tactical Grounding

Here's another quick tactic when you feel Anger creeping up on you...

(1) Take a deep breath or two & Align your spine (straighten up).
(2) Positive mental dialog.(Monitor what that voice in your head says to you)
(3) Put on your "game face". (Look the part when you are interacting w/someone)

So, What Does Israel Have to Do With It?!

Israel has a society that is more inclined for being a Protector's culture. Meaning they are more accustom as a society for taking action and working through their fear to protect not only themselves, but one another.

We are not... So it takes more to work through our social norms that are taught and constantly reinforced...

This is why I teach and have all of the resources available for you!

I'd like to see this Underground Movement go Mainstream!

In order to do this We Need Each Other!

It is very difficult to be peaceful in a violent society. Just like it is difficult to be violent in a society of PeaceWalkers!


Live for Most Good / Least Harm in everything that you do!

Work to have the skills to back it up!


LIVE - PROTECT - INSPIRE!!


And...



Keep Going!
~Craig


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Sunday, September 30, 2018

A Reunion & the Answer to Conflict



Classmates who passed away since our graduation... Reminding us that life is precious & fleeting...



Saturday was off the hook w/social events:

My Morning - Bar Mitzvah
My Afternoon - Wedding
My Evening - Class Reunion

Oh my!

It was a whirl wind of cool craziness and a bunch of mini road-trips gallivanting around West Michigan! 

It was a great day of re-connecting and celebrating w/friends...



The ONE THING I Learned from My Reunion that Could Instantly Change the World!


One thing happened at my class reunion that really stuck with me...

Something SO POWERFUL that all cliche's aside...

COULD CHANGE THE WORLD!

A group of people who are decades removed from our K-12 experience reunite for an evening...

We've all lived long enough to have Life kick us around a bit...

After some time here on this planet, it's difficult to avoid having things happen to us that we have absolutely no control over...

And I'm not talking about the good stuff...

I'm talking about the challenges, disappointments, heartaches, problems, issues, sickness, death, suffering, failure, ups, downs, mundane middles that Life brings us, whether we ask for it or not...

Things we can't avoid... run from, persuade, buy or lie ourselves out of...

You either learn resilience or become disillusioned, callous or bitter...

You can either grow wise or just get old...

Your choice...


The 'Shadow Side'


The 'shadow side' of youth can have negative effects. Selfishness, Competitiveness, judgement, shortsightedness & even cruelty, can often play a large role in our young world...

If you've ever been to a class reunion or something of its likeness, you already know that it comes with its share of anticipation and excitement to reconnect with old friends...

You also know that it comes with a healthy dose of hesitation, uncertainty, and unease...

Vulnerability...

We can tend to focus on our own flaws, the chinks in our armor.

When we go to gatherings like this, there is a part of us that is hoping we will be seen in a way that is pleasing...

Hoping that we'll be accepted and embraced for who we are...

For those who we shared our youth with to overlook our flaws of today and yesterday.

To remember the good things about us. To see the positive side of us now.

Possibly can (re)visit that what once was or what we wished it to be...

Or maybe to just recapture that feeling of wonder... discovery... That clean slate of experience that only youth can provide. Even for an evening...


What I Saw Was Astounding!


What I saw change at this reunion (our 30th) and our 20th that was different from our school experience and the experience even reaching as far as our 15th reunion...

Acceptance. Camaraderie. Humility (Well most of us anyway!=). Connection.

We saw ourselves as One Tribe...

Left behind were the clicks. The competitiveness. The ill will. The cruelty, that can sometimes accompany our youth and (of course) adulthood.

I saw a group of people come together who genuinely embraced each other. Who were grateful. Who were willing to look beyond the differences, imperfections, shortcomings, scars and wounds to connect with that deeper part inside of us as human beings.

That night there were no clicks, no casts, no popular, geeks, jocks, in or outs... We became One Tribe... Only people coming together who seemed truly grateful for those who were there.

It was astounding and humbling to be a part of...

Then I thought...


That's IT!


Yes, yes, I DO realize I am having a bit of a moment here...

But, as simple and idealistic as this is, it IS what holds the answer to many of the problems and conflicts we face in the world...

NO, it won't solve all of our issues (not by a long shot...) and NO not everyone will have this same viewpoint and even w/the ones that do, there will still be problems to contend with...

HOWEVER...

When we can see beyond all of our relative differences to that which is the same... We are humans and the Life we are stewarding has intrinsic value, beyond the differences we sometimes find so important.

If we can see ourselves as...


One Tribe


We can not only better deal with the conflicts that are unavoidable during this human experience we are having...

We will have a much better chance at dealing with those conflicts with much more clarity, less mistakes & suffering.

We will find it much easier to do Most Good / Least Harm for everyone!

So, can you see beyond someone's shortcomings, their faults, their relative values, their beliefs and behaviors to see them as a person and show THAT part of them respect, when you are appropriately managing their behavior?! (Even if you have to do things that are difficult and unpleasant?)

(I know, I know you've heard this story from me before... Well, at least I'm consistent! =)

Ok... Granola Rant OVER! =)



Keep Going,
~Craig


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Sunday, September 23, 2018

The Space to Live





Just got back from New Jersey; a weekend of training (and a bit of teaching too). It was great hanging out w/old friends, meeting some new ones and getting some good training in.

As I unpacked my gear, I was reminded of a discussion that Jack Hoban's teacher Maasaki Hatsumi had regarding space.

He took out a piece of calligraphy parchment and painted the character of LIFE on one side of it, let it dry as he explained his thoughts of space, distance, timing and what we in the 'tactical' world would call the 'Reactionary Gap.'

When the paint was sufficiently dried, Hatsumi then flipped the parchment over and painted DEATH on the other side...

He then looked at us and said "In battle, the difference between Life & Death are often only the width of a paper apart!"

I thought it was an eloquent example


The Space to Live...

When fractions of seconds count... Distance often equates to time.

The way you move, the position you take, the distance you are at, all factor into the equation of your ability to take the advantage of a situation (even if only to survive it).

People often only think about the physical space, when it comes to reaction time. However there are many more spaces that greatly influence ones reaction time during an engagement. 

Let me point out just two of these other 'Spaces':

~ Emotional Space
~ Psychological Space

If you are emotionally or psychologically overwhelmed, distracted, confused, disengaged or maybe just slow, it affects the time it takes you to respond. That lag may be the difference of being successful or not...

In minor situations it may cause you to lose that debate, the interview, a sale, negotiation or argument...

However...

In extreme situations it can be the difference between surviving or not!

I don't have a lot of time to chat today, so I'm going to keep things short. I just wanted to open this up that when you think about 'Space', you consider more than only 'Physical' Space.



Build Good Habits

Building good habits to reduce your exposure to the 'reactionary gap' doesn't only revolve around physical training (but you should be doing that as well!).

Yes, spend time physically training, but don't neglect being emotionally and psychologically sharp (Foundational & Tactical Grounding), or even at the right 'distance' you can find yourself in the same vulnerable situation of not having enough time because you didn't have the 'Space' to respond to what was happening.

Sorry...

I know there's a lot there I could go into WAY more depth on...

But, no time today...

Don't feel bad though, watch tactical shooting instructor Larry McDonald's MasterClass where we discuss & train it in the context of retaining and drawing your pistol:


If that's STILL not enough, don't fret, we'll talk about it more later!

In the meantime...


Keep Going,
~Craig

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Tuesday, September 18, 2018

The Gift of Anger?!





Where Fear Meets Anger...

Gavin DeBecker's book "The Gift of Fear" make some really good points about that gut feeling you get that will keep you safe.

Most people are pretty clear about why we feel fear

However...

Less people know what to do with Anger, let alone how to USE it as a tactical advantage!

When we can throw off all of our current stigmas that coincide with anger, namely, loss of control, guilt, shame, bullying, victimizing... etc.

You can see anger for what it truly is and what it can be used for.

ACTION!

Anger Equals Action!

Yep, When you're Angry, sh*t gets done!

Now I don't mean unbridled rage, temper tantrums or anything to that extreme. I'm talking about feeling the emotion of anger, harnessing it and using it to your advantage!

If you can accomplish that, you can use the energy that anger gives you to good use.

However...

In this age of "being a victim" is power, the only thing we seem to use anger to fuel is blaming, resentment and passive aggression that can lead to greater acts of violence and sometimes tragic consequences including suicide, 'lone wolf' attacks and terrorist activities.

We have become a society where we learn (and are expected) to suppress a lot of anger, rather than being taught to understand how to use it properly.



Barbarism?!

Today anger is often seen as a rude, unnecessary, loss of control and barbarism that which isn't tolerated by our 'civilized' society. It appears that we would much rather deal with things (initially) in a more passive, politically correct way (faux respect), than meet things head on appropriately, but more assertively.

So we've mastered a wide array of passive (and not so passive, but one might say cowardly) aggression that seem to be more accepted.

Trolling, cyber bullying, ghosting, blaming, playing the victim, (to a lessor or greater degree) entitlement, complaining or protesting w/o lifting a finger to actually help, are just some of the examples of what is transpiring.

It's easy to light up your (or someone else's) social media page w/your words (and memes) of violent protest, or even put up a sign in the lawn about your convictions. Some may even go to the extent of picketing or putting on a demonstration...

All fine! It's great living in a country where we not only can do these things, but have the right to do so...

However...

It's like being in a meeting with people who all have such good idea's about how it 'should be' done (typically something that they don't have to deal with directly themselves)...

Then...

When it comes time for someone to step forward to actually do something about it, no one has anything but excuses as to why it 'should' be different, but they are too busy or otherwise indisposed to dig in and actually help implement the change they are suggesting. And/or the change is so idealistically unrealistic at this time it doesn't leave room of how things happen in real time.

It's easy to be an 'arm chair quarter back!'

But don't miss read me, I'm not advocating that voicing your protest is wrong, nor that violence as the ultimate way to manage conflict. I'm just saying that it's easier to complain than actually DO something and it appears that the pendulum has swung in that direction (some might say quite a bit).


Use It... Don't Lose It!

Use the intensity your anger gives you for (appropriate) action. Don't just 'lose it' and wast all that raw energy on being impulsive!

If you are taught to use your emotions they are your ally...

Unfortunately today we are taught to suppress many emotions that we find 'unsavory', we lack the mentoring necessary to teach others how to use that energy correctly to gain the advantages they were meant to give.

Another reason for good training!

Good training will help you to not only navigate those emotions, but use them to your distinct advantage.

If you suppress them they are not only useless, they are a detriment in the moment and will cause serious psychological/emotional problems in your life.


An Observation...

I'm no sociologist but I believe that part of what we are experiencing today, which is across the board a DECREASE in 'standard' forms of social violence, but an INCREASE in more extremes like suicide, active shooting events and terrorism (each of these categories have risen extensively in the past 20 years), is due to this trend of teaching (a.d.a. socializing) people to be more passive beyond the point of comfort and what we would naturally, instinctively do on our own (or possibly it is the transition or social 'evolution' that we are experiencing with such resistance?).

So, most people in the the mainstream comply and are, more or less minimally negatively affected emotionally or psychologically. However at the extremes, the people on the fringe have a greater reaction to the suppression, thus losing their 'release' valve so to speak, which results in the increase of the more extreme forms of violence...

This coupled with the 'establishment' (which could be our government, school, place of work, etc... basically our society as a whole) has become less tolerant of lessor forms of violence and more idealistic as to outcomes of how situations should be handled. Not to mention making claims that are not and cannot always be backed up...

Namely, 'we' don't trust you to protect yourself. 'We' will protect you. But when that doesn't happen it leaves most people in a social/emotional gridlock of confusion, doubt, frustration, fear and anger.

We are (often) taught that standing up for ourselves is wrong or that the margin for error or misjudgment is so fine and the consequence for stepping out of line so great, that the infraction of not following the establishments rules supersedes that of the violator infringement of the victim.

WOW!

We are taught that we don't have the expertise necessary to do a good enough job and we need someone of authority to do it on our behalf.

We begin to believe that we are not 'authorized' to protect ourselves. So, we begin to do it less. Relying on the authorities more...

And for the most part that works, because we DO live in an overall less violent society.

But for some, when they've been taught that they will be taken care of, but then the establishment doesn't protect them...

The feeling of resentment is multiplied by feeling betrayed because they've been taught that going against the establishment holds a greater consequence than someone victimizing them.

At  a deep level they want to do as their society expects, however they are sick and tired of feeling victimized, marginalized and disrespected (imagined or real)...

So they begin to feel resentment, becoming more conflicted, confused and angry.

In they're head they create a bigger enemy...

And that, in extreme cases can motivate some to:

Implode - Suicide
Explode - Active shooter, 'lone wolf' attacks, active assailant, joining extremist groups and act terrorism, etc.

Now I realize that I have not dug my heels in to do a full researched study... and probably won't, but that is my view of it at this point in time with the research I have done, what I see happening and the experiences I have had.
 

So, How Do YOU Turn Your Anger Into An Advantage?!
.
And What Does Israel Have to Do With It?!

I'll tell you in the next post!

In the meantime...

Have a Great Day!


All the best,
~Craig


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Tuesday, September 11, 2018

9/11... Do You Wish You Were There?


Picture Courtesy of Tom Collins


Fall came in fast...

Today I am in a bit of a reflective mood about the shock and tragedy that happened 17 years ago. It could just as well have been yesterday for me... It's still that clear in my memory... Where I was... What I was doing... How I was feeling... The phone calls... Watching events unfold... But I was one of the millions of people who weren't actually there...

But I have friends who were... Police, firefighters, friends.

Not everyone made it...

But, we all remember...

And that reminds me of Israel and what an Israeli friend of mine said about the attitude of many in that culture...


I Wish I Was There...


When a terrorist attack occurs many people think "I'm so lucky I wasn't there."

And don't get me wrong I would say that would be a pretty rational and intuitive thing to think...

However...

Some of my friends and colleagues from Israel have a different perspective. When something happens, when a tragedy occurs these people think...

If only I were there I could have helped in some way!

The cop may think...

If only I were there l could have helped and maybe I could have stopped the terrorist...

The firefighter may think...

If only I were there I could have helped and maybe I could have rescued more people...

The medic may think...

If only I were there I could have helped, maybe I could have helped save more people...

The citizen may think...

If only I were there I could have done SOMETHING, ANYTHING to help, maybe I could have made a difference...


Lifestyle vs. a Technique


This is why I train.

This is why I teach.

This is why I created this Community & Resource...

To help people recognize the importance of... and develop the skills to Build a Protectors LIFESTYLE!

Yes, learn good techniques. But, more importantly, develop a BETTER Lifestyle. A Protector's Lifestyle.

All cliche's and BS aside...

I want more people to become PeaceWalkers. To walk in peace. To know how to handle conflict w/o creating more of it.  To be clear about what they are protecting and to do most good / least harm.

To LIVE, PROTECT & INSPIRE!

In order to do that you have to surround yourself by healthy people who are on the same path. You have to train in the right way. STOP just thinking so much about technique and start thinking about HOW YOU LIVE! You have to LIVE the right way and develop a Lifestyle of a Protector!
.

Why Do You Train?!


If you train to defend yourself, you're thinking Too Small! If you train to defend your family, as noble as that may be, you're still thinking Too Small! 

Train so you can be clear, train so you CAN Protect yourself, your family, your friends, your colleagues and yes, train so you can protect that person you don't even know... Train so that You don't become part of the problem!  Train so that...

Everyone Is a Little Bit Safer Because You Are There!

Train that you are so Clear about what you are really protecting. That way, if you don't have the direct skills, you have a better chance of figuring out the details.

Train so you won't compromise your ethic.

Do not train to learn techniques...

TRAIN For LIFE!

...and

Keep Going!

  
All the best,
~Craig



To Learn More Skills for Developing a Protectors Life - Subscribe Up Here for my FREE Newsletter. www.peacewalkersubscribe.com

Monday, September 10, 2018

Fearless is BS





I feel good today, not fearless, but courageous...

Why... Well, let me first say this,

Fearless is Bulls#*t!

Yep, I said it!

...and I meant it!

Don't confuse fearless with Courageousness!

Being courageous is feeling fear and moving forward anyway!

Move Forward Despite Your Fear.
.
There are times when I am fearless. I'm not saying that it's never happened, but it's rare.

Yes, I've had some:

"Dude hold my drink and watch THIS," moments, where I was truly fearless (and careless). Those don't always go well for most folks.

Anyway, all joking aside, most of our biggest gains in life are when we are FAR FROM FEARLESS.

Rather we are full of fear, but we don't let that fear paralyze us from moving forward in a positive direction.
How Does This Apply to Conflict Management?

It's easy to get caught up in the fear, anxiety and drama of our inner voice. It is more likely to happen to you when you are under stress and (obviously) during conflict.

When we come from a place of fear we tend to be reactionary. We either over react, under react, react inappropriately for the situation, or don't respond at all when we should.

To make matters worse, when there is a lot of reinforcement to be "fearless," some begin to believe that we shouldn't feel it so when we do we need to:

(A) Hide it.
(B) Suppress it.
(C) Feel guilty for feeling it.

All of these can be detrimental in the moment of managing the situation, afterward in your relationships and also for your own personal health.

Fear is natural. It is there for a reason. But, don't let it control you or persuade you to make bad choices (...and we ALL know how persuasive fear can be!).

Reacting vs. Responding

So, how can we train to Respond vs. React during conflict.

Let's get one thing straight, I'm talking conflict Physically, Verbally, Emotionally, Psychologically, Socially, etc!

Well, in order to Respond rather than React during a stressful situation, you have to practice staying what we PeaceWalkers call...
...BASELINE

Baseline is made up of three key components:

Attitude
Awareness
Appropriate Action

*We actually have an entire training section in the PeaceWalker Conflict Management Course available on the PeaceWalker Membership Site, of what baseline is, why its so important and HOW TO REMAIN in it during conflict. Check it out SOON!

Having the proper Attitude, Awareness and Ability to Act Appropriately during the situation is key to overcoming the reactionary state caused by fear.

This is a bigger subject than we have time for in today's (almost) daily email. How about we cover each individually.

But, before we get into that...

Let's cover one of the key components that precludes this and will help you BIG TIME! When it comes to gaining and maintaining Baseline...

Tactical Grounding...

WTH?! Is "Tactical Grounding?"

I'm glad you asked...

It is a simple method for quickly gaining your composure so that you can gain and maintain baseline during moments of stress and conflict.

It's a simple three step process...

(1) Take a Deep Breath and Stand Up Straight.
(2) Change Your Mindset to Positive Things Like, "I got this!"
(3) Put Your "Game Face" On.

Oh, what is your "game face?"

This is your facial expression the suits the situation.

If you need to appear empathetic. Look the part.  If you need to look stern. Look the part.

Don't appear silly if the situation calls for you to be serious. Don't look mad if the situation requires you to look kind.

You have to be a bit of an actor and remember to...

Breathe Damn It! BREATHE!

I use this a lot when I'm driving!


Keep going,
~Craig


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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

PeaceWalker Case Study: Rob Barrett


Part 1

Hear how Rob Barrett uses the PeaceWalker perspective in his life & career as a high school teacher.

See Part 2 Here!


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Sunday, August 26, 2018

How to Be More Convincing




What if you could convince yourself that the smallest change in how you train, treat people or say something can make a huge difference in increasing your success influencing a situation? How would that positively affect your life and job?

Well, here's a quick Communication Tip that I picked up a long time ago from Zig Ziglar (way back in my sales days). It can help you influence someone to listen to an idea you have.

...AND actually sell themselves on the idea!!

Here's how it goes...

Instead of saying, "If I can convince you that..." say, "If you could convince yourself that ..." Then continue emphasizing the benefits of what you are having them consider.

Here's an example:

Not this: "Jerry, if I can convince you that learning how to influence people through inspiration rather than intimidation is so much more effective, would you listen to what I had to say?"

THIS! "Jerry, if you could convince yourself that influencing people through inspiration rather than intimidation is so much more effective in getting what you wanted, what would that look like?"

Yes, some people will look at you w/a slack jaw and say,

"I don't know." 

Or they might come back at you w/a sarcastic comment like,

"It wouldn't look like anything, because I ain't convincing myself of na'thin from the likes of you."

You're right, no trick or technique work's on everybody all of the time, but it is another powerful tool that often works to your benefit when attempting to influence someone.

This one flips things around psychologically in their head and takes the focus off from you trying to convince them and subtly invites then to figure out ways of convincing themselves.

So What Do You Do If It Doesn't Work!?

Great question!

That's why maintaining a good Baseline and having other tools in your toolbox is so important!

That's exactly why I developed PeaceWalker.net to give you the resources to protect yourself (and others) Verbally, Physically & Emotionally.

Feeling safe and confident when dealing w/difficult & dangerous people will give you the room to do your job, run your business, teach your class, complete your mission, or do whatever else you are aiming to accomplish at your job or in your Life!

...All while living a safer, healthier, happier Life!

Why do you have to worry about it!?

Easy!

No matter who you are, or what you do, we all have to deal with people! And with people comes CONFLICT.

...And opportunities, but only if you know how to deal with things well!

So, the more you learn about how to stay cool under pressure, talk more persuasively, and knowing if it all goes to 'hell in a hand basket,' that you can protect yourself, the less you worry. The less you worry, the more you have the time and energy for everything else in your life!

And THAT'S what it's all about!

So, don't miss your opportunity to improve your Life & Career by Learning more about these skills and connecting with a community of people who are on the same page as you are!

How?!

By joining PeaceWalker.net!

You can start by signing up for my FREE Newsletter HERE!

In the meantime...


Keep Going,
~Craig

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

See Something Say Something!




Awareness is incredibly important skill to have for our survival & success!

Across the country, in our communities, we share everyday moments with our neighbors, family, coworkers, and friends. We go to work or school, the grocery store, or the gas station. It's easy to overlook these routine moments, but as you’re going about your day if you see something that doesn't seem quite right, say something. By being alert and reporting suspicious activity to your local law enforcement you can protect your family, neighbors, and community.
.
"If You See Something, Say Something®" is a program through the Department of Homeland Security that was designed to help engage the public in protecting our homeland through awareness-building, partnerships, and other outreach.

To report suspicious activity please contact your local law enforcement. Describe specifically what you observed, including:
.
Who or what you saw;
When you saw it;
Where it occurred; and
Why it's suspicious.
If there is an emergency, call 9–1–1.

Learn It, Live It, Teach It! For all of us!


Keep Going,
~Craig


P.S. - If you would like to get more FREE Exclusive Tips, Tricks & Tactics to Living a Protectors Life... Go to www.peacewalkersubscribe.com & sign up!


Thursday, August 16, 2018

Evolution of a Protector




Here are the elements of the Evolution of a Protector… 

The process to becoming a PeaceWalker…

IDENTITY – Clarity in (1) Who will you choose to be? (2) What will you choose to see in others (separating their Life Value from Behavior & Beliefs)

ATTITUDE – (1) Seeing Conflict as an Opportunity. (2) Focusing on the right things. (3) Setting The Pace.

AWARENESS – (1) Yourself, (2) The Potential Threat (3) Situational Environment.

INFLUENCE – Your presence, Your verbal communication skills - What you say (and don’t), Your Behavior - What you Do (and don’t).

PHYSICAL ACTION – How to Engage or Disengage.

*You’ll notice that Krav Maga mainly touches on one of those categories… Physical Action, which Ironically is the last category! Yes, an important one, but it's only ONE!

Clarity and continued work on your Identity is essential!

WHY?!

Because it doesn't matter how much skill you have if you don't have clarity in your PROTECTOR IDENTITY, you are likely to use your skills in the wrong way.

Remember that your Ethic creates your Strategy that drive your Tactics & Techniques! So, if you're Ethics aren't clear or pointing toward Most Good / Least Harm, it will detrimentally affect the rest of your plans and actions!

I could go on about each of those sections... and I do discuss them more in my upcoming Video Series "The Evolution of a Protector."


More later...

Keep going,
~Craig


P.S.  For FREE Exclusive Tips & Tactics on Living a Protectors Life & Being a PeaceWalker -Subscribe to My Newsletter www.peacewalkersubscribe.com


Tuesday, August 7, 2018

How Tactfully Tell Your Boss to Prioritize Better




Let's face it, in today's day-&-age it seems we're trying to fit 10 pounds of Sh8t in a 5 pound bag...

We Need Priorities!

Sometimes we are so busy putting out fires that everything seems like it needs to be done right NOW!

However, there is only so much time...

It doesn't matter if it's your boss, spouse, business partner, chief, commanding officer, supervisor, customer, manager, client, kids, etc...

Sometimes we have to call a 'Time Out' and get things straight!! So how do we 'Create Some Space' to Prioritize!?

Seems simple enough, but HOW do you do it?

...How do you SAY it?!

First, before you open your mouth, make sure you stay Baseline (Basically, keep a cool head and be part of the solution, not part of the problem). So you can speak, not out of emotion, panic or anger, but using logic and the right tone to create open communication.

Then you could say something like this...

"I know there is a lot going on right now and everything seems important. However..."

(Choose one...)

a. If you had to pick what the most important thing is to get done first, what would it be?
b. I'm a bit confused about what is most important.
c. I'm not sure what the top priorities are?
d. Let's get some clarity on what the top priority is.
e. I'd like to get everything done too, however we can't, so let's decide what the top priority is so we can get that one out of the way first, before moving to the next.

"For example..."

(Then give them an example or suggestion regarding what you mean or what might be the largest priority.)

"Can you tell me..."

(Choose one... or mix & match)

a. What do you see as the most important thing?
b. How we could best sort this out?
c. If there is anyone who we might be able to help with these things?

(After they communicate what their thoughts are and you both come to some kind of agreement)

"Thanks for going over this with me! To summarize and make sure I got things right, we're / you're going to first focus on ____________, then address _________ and then if there is any time left we can tackle ___________."

"Does that sound right?"

(Confirm in writing if needed)


There you go! Easy Peazy! =)


...AND there's your PeaceWalker Tactic of the Day!



Keep Going,
~Craig



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