Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Shadow Blocking

Shadow Blocking... No it's not some mysterious undefeatable martial arts move, it is actually an option called "hide user" on youtube that blocks someone from posting on your channel. However, the person who has been blocked will not have been notified. Their messages will show up on THEIR computer if they are logged in to their account, but they will be the only person to see it. Interesting indeed...

You may be wondering how do I know this!? Well, I was checking my email last night after class and I see that someone posted a comment on a few videos. I'd like to say that I am excited to see comments, however I am usually first a bit hesitant. Why?! Because these are martial arts videos, where many people feel as if they need to exercise their negativity and pettiness. Apparently some people were never taught "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all" from their mothers. It's just an unfortunate reflection of where that person is with their life.

I check the half dozen comments left on various individual videos and they were just some troll saying obnoxious and hateful things. I delete them. One of them I report to youtube. The next morning, I wake up to find that there are two more messages that are even more obnoxious than the first ones that Zombie Savior left.

After the last barrage of trolling messages, obviously just deleting ZJ's comments aren't going to be enough. Being that I am really done w/this, I look for a way to block this person. That's where I come across how to "shadow block" or "shadow ban" someone from your youtube channel. Here's a video explaining how to do it: https://youtu.be/Vwi90iqQBCA

Unfortunately I have dealt with everything from stalkers, to haters, death threats and trolling... Come on guys get a life out there, you have more to offer the world than just your crazy!

Unlike The 3 Unequivocal Rules to Not Being Bullied post, in the case of trolls, the only real boundary to be set is by not engaging in more communications. Just sever the access to someone who isn't looking for healthy dialog and move on with your life.

Done and done...

And that is how and why I learned how to Shadow Block. =)

Keep an eye out for the new PeaceWalker Membership Site where we are building a community for sharing the Rosetta Stone to dealing w/difficult, disrespectful, even dangerous people. COMING SOON!

Keep going!

Thursday, August 24, 2017

The 3 Unequivocal Rules to Not Being Bullied

past tense: bullied; past participle: bullied
use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.

"a local man was bullied into helping them"

Bullying seems to be a buzz word that is thrown around a lot these days. So much so that it sometimes can feel as if its something new. As we know bullies have been around since the dawn of the human race. 

Here are the three unequivocal rules to not being bullied at school, work, or pretty much anywhere else! =)

#1 - QTIP - Quit Taking It Personal. A friend of mine (Todd H.) was a vice principal at a (number of) middle school(s) and he shared this acronym with many students and teachers who were dealing with static from others. Basically, don't let people get to you. Let the negativity roll off your back. Most of these people who are saying mean things don't know you. They are speaking from their dark place. It speaks to who they are, not who you are. Try not to let it affect you. 

#2 - Stand Up For Yourself - This doesn't mean "bully the bully." Rather, draw clear boundaries and stick to them. Drawing clear boundaries includes avoiding bad situations and/or leaving situations & relationships that are not healthy. Find Your Voice and Learn to Use It! When communicating your boundaries use your voice, body language, eyes, facial expression and YOUR ACTIONS! 

#3 - Remember You're Not Alone - No person is an island (even if we think so), but it can be easy to feel isolated and alone. Some may think that no one would understand, but if you can find the courage to reach out, you'll find that others are going through (or have gone through) things Just Like You! There's people out there that will lend a hand, but you have to reach out for it. Find a friend or ally. It could be a friend, peer, parent, co-worker, fellow student, teacher, supervisor, manager, commanding officer, counselor, principal, etc.

Keep an eye out for the new PeaceWalker Membership Site where we are building a community for sharing the Rosetta Stone to dealing w/difficult, disrespectful, even dangerous people. COMING SOON!

Keep going,

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

The 3 Astonishing Rules for Not Putting Up w/Other Peoples Crap at Work

Image result for trouble at work

Are you tired of the good ole' OPC (Other Peoples Crap) Syndrome at work? Do people treat you badly or take advantage of you? Do do your fellow employees or boss treat you with respect? Or do you frequently get dump on or disrespected? Even if you aren't experiencing any of this, you may still want to check these 3 Astonishing Rules out!

#1 - Be good at your job! 

Remember Hawkeye Pierce (Played by Alan Alda) from that old T.V. Show M. A. S. H.? Hawkeye was a smart a$$ , prankster and a bit of a f#ck off, but he was an excellent doctor! When it came to doing his job, he was awesome! Moral to this story is simple, people are more willing to cut you some slack and overlook a lot of your other quirky traits (at work) if you are good at your job.

This isn't as complicated as it may seem. You see most people spend a lot of time either trying to avoid doing the basic things that would make them more successful and/or they are so busy being distracted by their search for that "magic bullet" (the one thing that will solve all of their problems) that they neglect doing the basics really well. Here are some of those basic things that many don't bother to do:

  • Show up on time.
  • Do your job!
  • Don't take breaks or lunches that are longer than agreed upon. 
  • Be ethical (including being honest and don't take things that aren't yours).
  • Do what you say you're going to do.
  • Over deliver (When possible)
  • If your job isn't done, don't waste time doing things that pull you away from that goal
  • Keep work work, and personal life personal (live and online)

#2 - Create Allies Not Enemies

This statement should be self explanatory enough, however, if you're looking for further clarification, you can read an entire blog post about it here. Or take the quiz here.

#3 - Encourage Transparency 

I know this one sounds fancy or trendy or whatever, but it really isn't. Basically, it's harder to get crapped on when everyone can see it! Here are a few tips on how to do this:

  • Include others on emails from people who often crap on you. (cc)
  • If someone wants to talk who you don't get along with, make sure someone else is in on the meeting too.
  • Talk to your co-workers, supervisors, etc. when you are experiencing problems
  • Document as (and before) needed!
  • Use your work computer for work, not personal stuff

If you are getting crapped on in full view of others and they are either alright with it, afraid to do anything about it or don't care, maybe it's time to look for other employment.

Yes, there are many other things we could talk about, however we aren't... yet. Go try these things first and we'll go from there.

Keep an eye out for the new PeaceWalker Membership Site that will be sharing the Rosetta Stone to dealing w/difficult, disrespectful, even dangerous people more effectively. COMING SOON!

As always...

Keep going,

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

The 3 Golden Rules To STOP Getting Crapped On By People

Have you ever felt that people crap all over you?  Hopefully not, but if you do, here are the 3 Golden Rules to cure OPC Syndrome (Other Peoples Crap):

#1 Stand Up For Yourself! 

Quit being a doormat. Learn to say "NO." Communicate clear, fair, consistent boundaries. Expect to be treated with respect. Standing up for yourself can also mean knowing when to just leave a bad situation!

Don't play the victim. It's one thing being victimized, it's another thing all together playing the victim! It seems to be a popular way to "gain power" today (If that's how you want to look at it). Don't agree?! That's ok, just give it some thought.

#2 Don't Be An A**hole!

Yep, that's right, standing up for yourself doesn't mean being a jerk or making demands that are unreasonable or so one sided that you're really being no better than the person who was doing the crapping in the first place!

Strive for Most Good / Least Harm for everyone involved!

Be firm, fair, and nice. The strongest, toughest most dangerous Bad Mofo's I know are also the nicest, humblest people I know! Be so tough you can afford to be kind and courteous!

#3 Remember That WE Teach People How To Treat Us! 

If you consitantly don't like how you're being treated by others, at some point you have to look at yourself! Ask yourself, "How am I teaching people to treat me like this?" What am I doing to train others that it is ok to treat me with disrespect and/or to take advantage of me?

It's what you say (and what you don't say). How you act (and how you don't). How you treat others (and how you treat yourself). How you hold yourself. Your body language. Your expectations. Your tone. Your energy. The habits that you've developed, some that you might not even be aware of, that are creating your current experience.

Remember that old EF Hutton commercial where the announcer says, "When EF Hutton talks, people listen." You see some old guy in a suit go into a room and immediately all the people look over expectantly or put their hand up to cup their ears to listen. Cheezy I know, but it is a fine example of how we program people how to treat us. This happens in subtle and not so subtle ways that aren't just verbal.

How are you training people to treat you!?

Keep going,