"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax...and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude...for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about I'm sure, but don't worry. You will someday."
~ Lester Burnham played by Kevin Spacey in American Beauty
We are born into this Life and many things happen. Somethings we have control over, other things we don't. Some things we see as
good, other things we see as bad. Later we may change our perspective
altogether regarding some or all of it... or we may not. Some people will use
what happens to them to love, learn and grow, others will use what hap…
There is something about Autumn that I love. It's more than the crispness in the air, the pleasant temperature or the smell of a bonfire. For me there is something more. Mystery. Secrets. Possibility with more than a hint of melancholy. The kind that hurts in a strange, but somehow good way.
I love Halloween which is my favorite holiday. I love the way the trees begin to turn and then explode into a vivid cascade of colors when the sun shines through them on those fleeting warm days. Maybe the melancholy I feel is those things that are dieing and changing in us, our relationships and lives? And maybe its the weather of our soul that is being reflected in the season? In a weird way it feels good to miss something. Someone. Sometime. As I've said to others during times of loss, "It only hurts because they mattered."
We live for moments and Fall only has a short supply.
I can remember when I was probably in my mid-twenties, it was as if one day I woke up and it was win…
"Serenity is not finding freedom from the storm, but peace within it." ~Anonymous
It took me a while to realize what I was looking for. Although I could feel something deep inside of me gently guiding my path. It wasn't clear. It was easily lost. Subtle. Delicate, yet deeply powerful. You might miss it if you didn't know what you were looking for. Or if you didn't know what you were seeing. Underneath my search for many things in life, even for the experience of feeling alive. I was looking for something inside of my self that allowed me to become a person who embodied Grace Under Pressure.
It's difficult enough to find serenity on the top of a mountain. Being peaceful when everything is calm can be challenging enough, however being the eye of the storm when everything around you is chaotic takes you to a whole new level. A PeaceWalker. Someone who has Grace Under Pressure during conflict.
I first sensed this as a kid when my brother would bully and hurt …