Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Your Mom Was Right

The idea of being in tribe and part of a community reminds me of the discussion we got in on our last LIVE MasterClass Q & A Coaching Call when we talked about the affect of community on performance and being a protector...

Can Being a Part of a Community Help You Perform Better?!

In a word, YES!

You don't necessarily need the research of the effects of community when it comes to performance... You can FEEL it yourself!

However, there has been a fair amount of research on how community can effect our performance.

Malcolm Gladwell's Book, Outliers  has an interesting chapter where he shares research that ties longevity to community. He talks about how the citizens of Roseto, PA, “created a powerful, protective social structure capable of insulating them from the pressures of the modern world."

What Did Your Mom Tell You!?

"Be careful of who your friends are!"

What did the business / success coaches say?

"Show me your Friends and I'll show you your future."

Pick Your Tribe...

It doesn't matter what you want to do... 

If you want to lose weight... Hang out w/people who are losing weight!

If you want to get in shape... Hang out w/people who are getting in shape!

If you want to learn how to fight... Hang out w/fighters!

If you want to Live a Protector's Lifestyle... Hang out w/Protectors!

If you want to be a martial artist... Hang out w/them!

If you want to be successful... Hang out w/people who are! 

What If You Can't Find a Tribe?

Now-a-Days, because of the internet, it is much easier to find a community of people for pretty much anything...

However, if you can't find your flavor... Then...MAKE YOUR OWN COMMUNITY!!

In our case, make...

A Community of Protectors!

That's what THIS Community is all about!

Although I had many requests to create a(nother) martial arts, Krav Maga and/or defensive tactics organization...

I didn't want to!

We have Too Many Already!! We don't need another one!  However, I wanted to...

Create Something Unique...


Drilling down to the CORE of what people said they were looking for when they sought to defend 'themselves', be it with their hands, their words or w/weapons!

That's the reason for THIS COMMUNITY!!

The idea is to join us together as ONE Tribe of People who feel that calling of their Deepest Identity!

That of a Protector...

Bring them Together. Help them Clarify. Share Skills. Build a Community...

Start a MOVEMENT!!


If you're reading this...

YOU are a part of it too!


Keep Going,

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019

What Now?!

Have you ever been on the other side of some BIG life changing event, accomplishment, trauma, ordeal?

Doesn't matter if it was good or bad, the emotional, fallout afterward can be challenging to deal with.

Maybe you just had the biggest sales year ever in your career... You just got back from the award ceremony... Monday rolls around and there are your NEW sales figures sitting on your desk.

Possibly you spent the last 6 1/2 years in Krav Maga, going to class 3x/per week, training on your own, going to every seminar and training on your own in pursuit for that coveted 'Black Belt.' Then
FINALLY the day comes! It's your turn! And You ROCK IT! The belt gets strapped around your waist and the BMF wallet goes in your pocket...

You wake up sore, revealed and Proud!

And you should be...

...But, now what?

There are many events in Life like this...

  • Maybe you just got out of the service or home after deployment...
  • You just retired from working 40 years at your career...
  • You just got back from your honeymoon... or the opposite, your divorce just got finalized...
  • Your last kid finally leaves the house & now it's just you & your spouse again...
  • You just got cleared of cancer...
  • You come home after the funeral of your husband/wife, mom/dad or best friend and the release of  what really happened hits you...

Then What...

There's a void there, the trough of the wave, the ebb that naturally comes after the flow of life... Especially those times that are filled w/a lot of emotion.

There is an old Zen proverb about chop wood / carry water...

Before enlightenment: Chop Wood / Carry Water... After enlightenment: Chop Wood / Carry Water...

Yes... Yet, another term for Keep Going.

You can find that the everyday things are both necessary as well as comforting if you have the right perspective.

The successful sales person goes on selling...

The protector continues to train until they are called to protect once more...

Life continues to move and if you want to find a sense of peace you have to keep moving too!

Take a minute to celebrate, mourn, reflect, relax, appreciate, recover, rest, learn, whatever you need to do...


Chop Wood / Carry Water...



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Monday, August 12, 2019

5 Steps To Transcend Your Training

When it comes to how to train for the "Reality" of conflict & violence...

Most People Are Wrong!

So, how do you take your training in whatever you do and transcend that training in order to apply it to real life situations?

What most people think is totally wrong!

Harder training DOESN'T necessarily mean that it is BETTER Training! Nor, does 'thin slicing' and isolating a skill set to the point that you over focus on the complexity of that skill so much so that you disconnect with how it will be used outside of the environment that you are training or competing in.

Take shooting... or rather Marksmanship. Basically, putting that bullet down range and hitting the bulls eye of your target.

You can become a very good competitive 'bench shooter' and out shoot the best of 'em, but then under real conditions of a life encounter where you are carrying concealed, and something occurs where you believe you may need to use your firearm to protect the Life of yourself or someone else.

You quickly realize that it is a totally different situation that requires different conditioning and many many more skills than all of those hours and competitions afforded you on the range. That's not to say that being skilled at certain specific things is bad, wrong or a waste of time, however it may not be as useful as you may believe. Many of these things are not as intuitive as one might expect.

My Now [In]Famous Example...

Take my Lifeguard v. Olympic example...

When you think of a lifeguard, most think of swimming...

Just like when you think about self defense the first thing that usually comes to mind is learning how to fight, right?!

And there's where the problems begin!

That thought already begins to "Thin Slice" and isolate a skill & performance expectation that can lead to misconceptions...

Being the 'Best' Swimmer (a.k.a. Gold Medalist Michael Phelps) makes you the 'Best' lifeguard...

So killing myself to be the best swimmer will equate to me being able to be a better lifeguard and save lives more effectively... Right?!

Or in the world of being a better protector:

Learning to be the 'Best' fighter is going to equate to protecting myself and others better?


Yes, you have to be a strong swimmer in order to be a life guard... And yes, having the confidence that you can 'throw down' can help you to protect yourself, but there's MUCH MORE TO IT THAN THAT!

Look At the Context...

The CONTEXT of being a lifeguard is different than that of a swimmer trying to win the Olympic gold.

Being a lifeguard requires a broad skill set to be effective. ONE of those things is being a strong swimmer, not to be confused w/having to be the best or fastest swimmer!

Here's a short list of skills (very short):

- Swim
- Swim while protecting someone
- Communication skills (speaking, listening, presence)
- Conflict Management skills
- Leadership skills
- First Aid & CPR skills
- Ability to read weather & water conditions
- Operate watercraft & flotation devises
- Directional and navigation skills
- Critical & creative thinking skills
- Staying fit to serve
- Diet and hydration knowledge
- Ability to be on a team
- An understanding of the laws and policies of the position
- Ability to fill out proper documentation
- Ability to use communication device (phone, radio, etc)

What About Protector's?!

You want to learn how to be the best fighter?! In what? MMA? Boxing? BJJ? Submission Wresteling? Thai Boxing? Stick or Knife Fighting? HEMA Short Sword Fighting? Russian Combat Sambo? Shootfighting?

Will being the best in any of those things make you a better protector?

Maybe... Some things would certainly transfer, but if you are trying to learn how to protect yourself and others from Human Conflict and Violence, you have to look at the right picture of what your goal is...

Learning how to protect yourself and others in today's day and age doesn't mean that you have to become the next UFC champion, Navy Seal or Israeli Counter Terrorist, but it IS sexy to fantasize about it isn't it?

Here's the biggest problem w/that thinking though...

Real Conflict & Violence Doesn't Look Like an
Action Movie!

Trust me, it DOES FEEL GOOD to dominate in the ring, sparring match, etc. It's fun to fantasize about training to be John Wick, Jason Bourne or 007!

HOWEVER (and this is a BIG ONE!)...

Developing the skills to be a Protector and being able to Better Defend Yourself & Others against the conflicts and violence that we face in our lives requires MORE than you strapping on some MMA gloves, buying an gun and going to a weekend warrior zombie apocalypse tac course.

So what DOES it take to Transcend your Defensive Tactics from Training to the Actual Life You're Living?

Human Conflict and Violence is Broad, so Be WELL ROUNDED! The first thing to be well rounded with is YOU!!

The Basics:


Even a skilled lifeguard is useless if they are sick, hurt or unhealthy... Protectors have to be fit to protect as well!

Rest: Get a good night sleep and downtime!
Eat a well balanced diet for good nutrition (supplements?)

Train for:

(1) Mobility / Flexibility / Fluidity 
(2) Strength / Stability
(3) Endurance / Stamina
(4) Breathe!

Create and keep healthy relationships. This is also HUGE!

Ethical / Spiritual Clarity, Confidence and Calmness. Know your WHY and Connect to a Bigger Picture!

Develop a good attitude.

SKILL SET When Dealing w/Conflict & Violence (The Short list):

~ Ethical Clairity (what are you protecting)
~ Risk assessment & Management skills
~ Emotional Climate Training - Staying Cool Under Pressure (Baseline)
~ Breathing skills.
~ Awareness Skills.
~ Boundary Setting skills (Beginning w/you knowing your deal breakers)
~ Presence. (Understanding what you're bringing to the game effects it)
~ Verbal Communication Skills (Specifically Conflict Communications & Deescalation Skills).
~ Listening Skills.
~ Leadership Skills.
~ First Aid Skills.
~ How to create a plan 'A' & 'B' when dealing w/conflict & violence.
~ How to physically defend your self and others in each in different modalites:
      -Long range
      -Intermedite range
      -Close quarter
      - On the ground attacker up
      - You and your attacker on the ground
      - Defending against multiple attackers
      - vs.threats: empty hand, edged, blunt, flexible, projectile and other weapons
      - Adapting your skills to vulnerable places: Vehicles, against walls,sitting, etc
      - Options for disengaging AND engaging:
                                                I. Escaping
                                               II. Stun & Run
                                              III. Incapacitating
                                              IV. Restrain & Control
       - Security tactics: Dealing w/a Subject
       - 3rd Party Protection: Protecting a Principal       -
       - Offensive Weapon Usage.
       - Psychology & protecting yourself from PTSD
       - Legal considerations
       - Cultural and community considerations
       - Surround yourself w/folks who excel at what you're doing.

I'm sure I left out some more things and as you know the list could both be broader as well as more in depth in each of those skill sets.

My point is that simply learning how to 'fight' or 'shoot' is at best a gross oversimplification of what it really takes to Protect Yourself or to Help Someone Else from Conflict or Violence!

So, like I tell the folks who train w/me before we start our force on force training including a fair amount of sparring:

Sparring (fighting) is a drill! Yes, do your best (for you, your stage of life etc.) but it isn't the be all / end all of being able to protect yourself and others from conflict and violence in life, so...

If you are good at it, GREAT! But don't get too full of yourself...


If you can use some work at it, train to improve, but don't get to down on yourself or think that you can't defend yourself.

Remember every day there are thousands of people who protect themselves and others w/o any training what so ever...


There are highly skilled folks that were 'taken out' by people who have no skill what so ever!

That said...

IF you're not careful, you may even be entirely on the wrong path to your goal of learning how to protect yourself (and others).

Worse yet, there are leaders and 'experts' out there that will gladly take your money, time and admiration to help you live your fantasy... (Sad I know)

So How DO You Transcend Your Training?

(1) Stay Healthy: Mind / Body / Spirit / Relationships

(2) Understand What Your Goal is for Training

(3) Be Well Rounded in the Actual Skills of Dealing w/Conflict & Violence that you are likely to run into in your life... Not the fantasy!

(4) Build a Practice, Habit & Lifestyle OUTSIDE of your Class & Training!

...And #5?!

Keep Going,

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Monday, August 5, 2019

Are We Getting Too Used to This?

Glen Oakley is a hero and you should know his name

Sunday was an awesome day training some nice ladies at one of my Her Survival Guide Workshops!

Everyone did a fantastic job!

It was a great day...

Then I Heard the News...


I've been a bit busy this week doing Protector Summit Interviews, teaching down at the academy and doing workshops...

Then I hear that there were not just one, but TWO MASS SHOOTINGS?!

You gotta be kidding me?!

Not again!

Once again, my heart goes out to the victims and survivors, as well as their families and loved ones...

And once again my admiration and appreciation goes out to the first responders who showed up on the scene ready to help... even putting their own lives on the line to protect others.

Below is a link to a story of one of those first responders; off duty US Army Solider Glen Oakley, who was in Walmart at the time of the shooting in El Paso. He overcame fear and stepped in as a protector to save the lives of numerous people, including children.

Here is a very heart felt BBC interview with him:


Are We Getting Too Used to Tragedies Like This!

It seems so...

What are we going to do about them?

What are YOU going to do!?

I for one am going to stay the path of Teaching People How to Be PeaceWalkers... How to Build a Protector Lifestyle... Cultivate the right perspective and skill set to know how to Protect themselves and others better.

It's Not Just About...

Learning how to respond to threats like these. It's also about helping mentor more leaders who have influence at every level of our communities, schools, governments, businesses, city, state and federal government, in order to have more clarity as to prevention and response.

Hopefully we are able to reach more people, so that events like these don't even happen, or happen less...

And the one's that do occur, we are training More PeaceWalkers who know how to better detect and handle it early, quickly and more effectively (even if only a little).

What's the Answer...

More gun laws?
More people w/CPL's?
More government intervention?
More mental health resources?
Another president?

Both sides of the media seems to reflect the situation in a manner that serves their agenda best.

I don't have the answer...

Maybe someone does...

But, I wager the real solution is multi-faceted and won't fit into a neat box that someone can write a clever meme on.

Forget about the memes...

Do you own research!

And get ready for what...

The Bigger Question Is...

What are YOU going to do?

I know my answer...

Keep Going,

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