The Smell of Autumn
There is something about Autumn that I love. It's more than the crispness in the air, the pleasant temperature or the smell of a bonfire. For me there is something more. Mystery. Secrets. Possibility with more than a hint of melancholy. The kind that hurts in a strange, but somehow good way.
I love Halloween which is my favorite holiday. I love the way the trees begin to turn and then explode into a vivid cascade of colors when the sun shines through them on those fleeting warm days. Maybe the melancholy I feel is those things that are dieing and changing in us, our relationships and lives? And maybe its the weather of our soul that is being reflected in the season? In a weird way it feels good to miss something. Someone. Sometime. As I've said to others during times of loss, "It only hurts because they mattered."
We live for moments and Fall only has a short supply.
I can remember when I was probably in my mid-twenties, it was as if one day I woke up and it was winter. I somehow missed the fall again. I missed the change. I missed my favorite season. That feeling lasted quite a while until I tried to slow things down enough to catch some of it. It was hard because it seemed everyone else I knew and cared about were caught up in the same time warp I was.
When I throw in Rush Signals or a Boston album this time of year, my mind wanders back to a time that probably never really existed. A memory that is most likely made up of a million little perfect memories rolled into one whose melancholy has a gravitational force equal to that of a black hole. So strong even light can't escape. Good memories.
I hear the weather is supposed to be fantastic this weekend?! Remember it's a reflection of our lives.
Enjoy! It goes by fast!
All the best,
You know, when I moved to Florida I thought I'd be happy escaping the changing seasons. I don't miss the snow, but I miss the feelings that winter brought. How you feel about fall is how I feel about winter. Great post, it captured the feeling of a time of memories that were perfect and melancholy at the same time and I miss all of it even with the awesome "winter" weather we have down here. Things that were, or could have been....ReplyDelete
Beautifully written :)