Balance lays somewhere in between gun ho and gun shy. Each of us has our tenancies toward too hot or too cold, too aggressive or too passive, too much or too little, too fast or too slow, too optimistic or too pessimistic, too idealistic or too realistic. You get the idea.
It is important that you know where you are and continue to find the balance between the two opposites of your personality. Not always, but often within the one duality lays the seed of its opposite. The bully may, on the inside be someone who has a fragile ego and is afraid, so they over compensate by bullying others to protect themselves and/or make themselves feel better (at the expense of others).
We often resist in others what we don't like in ourselves. The more balance we can find the less waves we create in ourselves and when dealing with others.
How can we make this shift into a more balanced state? First by simply noticing. Without judging or trying to figure out, notice our own tendencies, be curious about our own feelings and behavior.
"That's an interesting way to feel or do something..."
"I notice that many times when someone does that, I respond like this."
At this stage don't get caught up in the why you do or feel something, only observe what you are doing and how you feel. Leave it at that at first. Notice your tendencies without judgement.
Once you observe your tendencies without getting caught up in judgement or wondering why, then you can begin to be in process and determine if what you are doing is helping or not. Noticing yourself in process will begin to open up the ability to make different choices. You can CHOOSE to respond differently. Over time not over night if you continue to make different choices you will create new habits and those new habits will begin to change the way you feel about your emotions and thus changing your experience. I call this process iExperience. You can read about it in one of my old blog posts. Click here and scroll down, you'll see it.
We have to begin noticing so we can slow down our own process to be able to determine if our habits are benefiting us. If they are not then we can be in process and play with other options to create a new experience. This is typically done over time not over night.
Something else that will help you with this is to Breathe, Relax and Keep Going!
All the best,