Throwing in the Towel

 

I did it again! After washing my hands in my bathroom, I found myself turning around to wipe them off on the towel that wasn’t there. Why?! For more months than I’d like to admit, I’ve been hanging the towels that I use after a shower, over my shower curtain rod… And that’s where it sat. Well… A few weeks ago, I started hanging the towel back on a towel rod, where it belongs. However, it was blatantly obvious I developed a habit of going to where the towel was, not where it IS. So, now almost every time I dry my hands; I still reach for a towel that is no longer in that spot… Or I catch myself wanting to reach there, then have to rethink it taking time and attention to redirect. That made me think about…

The Power of Habits!

Here’s a bitter pill for you: your life isn’t defined by big dreams, bold goals, or things you like to do. It’s defined by what you do every single day. Not what you say you’ll do. Not what you plan to do. Rather by what you actually do. And that, my friend, boils down to your habits. Good habits. Bad habits. The tiny, unremarkable things you repeat on autopilot, day after day. They’re either building the life you want or burning it to the ground. The kicker? Most of us are so busy coasting through the day, we don’t even realize we’re letting bad habits drive the bus. And the same holds true for how you deal with conflict and violence, but most people don’t even realize it until it’s too late and something actually happens! Habits Are a Double-Edged Sword Habits are like gravity. They don’t care whether you acknowledge them—they’re working on you either way. They can be the momentum that gets you to where you want to go, or they can be the invisible anchor dragging you down. I could talk about all the habits you’ve developed over the years regarding how you communicate, walk, talk, pay attention (or don’t)… We could get into how you learned to deal with conflict or what you typically do when your “Nice Doesn’t Work.” These are habits that subtilty and directly affect your life. However, most people don’t know it, nor do they work on it. Now flip it… Imagine having a habit of mindfully dealing with conflict and violence that happens inside and around you every single day. How you deal with conflict is a habit that has been programmed in you. So, if you want to create a healthy, useful habit, it is reliant on you developing another habit, one called… TRAINING! This is three fold. ONE: Learn a system that gives you the formula to effectively deal with conflict and violence. TWO: Develop a habit of going to that training. THREE: Train on your own as well. Your training sculpts you to show up, to be consistent, to build a Habit! And that habit will come out in everything you do in Life. Small things snowball. Before you know it that lil’ thing is a HUGE monster… And that’s either your salvation or your downfall, depending on what habit you’re fostering. The choice is yours my friend! Your habit will stomp the sh*t out of your motivation! Why Bad Habits Are So Damn Sticky Many of the habits we’re talking about here (ones that deal with conflict) are all but invisible until something occurs. Even then there are so many factors and nuances, it’s hard to see where you hold the power to influence another outcome. It’s easy (and common) to blame anything and everything else and not see your own contribution to the outcome… And the power you had to influence another (better?) one. Here’s the hard truth: bad habits don’t need your permission to take root. They thrive on repetition, laziness, and your blind spots. They sneak in while you’re looking the other way. That’s why your training is so important. So, How Do You Take Back Control? You’re not going to magically wake up tomorrow with perfect discipline. Changing your habits isn’t about flipping a switch—it’s about pulling the wires, one by one, and rewiring the whole damn circuit. 1. Start Ridiculously Small Forget about overhauling your life. That’s a fantasy. Want to get in shape? Don’t aim for an hour at the gym—aim for putting on your shoes and walking outside. Want to write a book? Don’t aim for 1,000 words—start with 50. If you want to train to be a PeaceWalker? Start by walking out that door and ACT like one. Don’t know how?! No worries, fake it! That’s right, pretend. Stand a little taller. Act more confident. Pay more attention. Be more compassionate. Look like a tough target. Lead from the front. Take more responsibility. Remember what Robert Humphrey said: “Wherever you walk everyone is a little bit safer.” Pretend you believe it and can feel it! The small wins matter because they’re proof: I can do this. Once you believe that, you start to build momentum. And momentum beats motivation every time. 2. Weaponize Your Environment You don’t rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your habits devised by your system. Make good training habits easy. Surround yourself with a good group of people who are going in the same direction you want to (like this one!). Read the emails, listen to the podcasts, get on the private platform, go to class. Lay out your workout gear before bed. Keep a notebook next to your coffee maker to jot down a single goal for the day. Make bad habits harder—make the crap you’re trying to avoid inconvenient to access… Distractions and the like. Clear your schedule, simplify. 3. Stop “Trying” and Start Becoming Here’s where people get it twisted: habits aren’t just actions—they’re identity builders. You don’t “try” to be a Protector—remember you are one! Just keep dialing in what you are protecting… Life! Don’t “attempt” to be a PeaceWalker —you are one. Act like it. Walk like one. Talk like one. Train like one… When you shift your identity, your habits follow. Every choice you make reinforces the story about who you are. Start choosing the story you actually want to live… The person you want to BE! Remember you set the pace!

Let’s Do This!

Changing your habits changes your life. If you want new habits that will help you to better protect yourself and those you love, than you’ll want to join me on this livestream. That’s exactly what I’ll show you in this FREE mini-course: Six Day Defense - https://www.peacewalker.org/defense

Keep Going, ~Craig