Monday, September 10, 2018

Fearless is BS





I feel good today, not fearless, but courageous...

Why... Well, let me first say this,

Fearless is Bulls#*t!

Yep, I said it!

...and I meant it!

Don't confuse fearless with Courageousness!

Being courageous is feeling fear and moving forward anyway!

Move Forward Despite Your Fear.
.
There are times when I am fearless. I'm not saying that it's never happened, but it's rare.

Yes, I've had some:

"Dude hold my drink and watch THIS," moments, where I was truly fearless (and careless). Those don't always go well for most folks.

Anyway, all joking aside, most of our biggest gains in life are when we are FAR FROM FEARLESS.

Rather we are full of fear, but we don't let that fear paralyze us from moving forward in a positive direction.
How Does This Apply to Conflict Management?

It's easy to get caught up in the fear, anxiety and drama of our inner voice. It is more likely to happen to you when you are under stress and (obviously) during conflict.

When we come from a place of fear we tend to be reactionary. We either over react, under react, react inappropriately for the situation, or don't respond at all when we should.

To make matters worse, when there is a lot of reinforcement to be "fearless," some begin to believe that we shouldn't feel it so when we do we need to:

(A) Hide it.
(B) Suppress it.
(C) Feel guilty for feeling it.

All of these can be detrimental in the moment of managing the situation, afterward in your relationships and also for your own personal health.

Fear is natural. It is there for a reason. But, don't let it control you or persuade you to make bad choices (...and we ALL know how persuasive fear can be!).

Reacting vs. Responding

So, how can we train to Respond vs. React during conflict.

Let's get one thing straight, I'm talking conflict Physically, Verbally, Emotionally, Psychologically, Socially, etc!

Well, in order to Respond rather than React during a stressful situation, you have to practice staying what we PeaceWalkers call...
...BASELINE

Baseline is made up of three key components:

Attitude
Awareness
Appropriate Action

*We actually have an entire training section in the PeaceWalker Conflict Management Course available on the PeaceWalker Membership Site, of what baseline is, why its so important and HOW TO REMAIN in it during conflict. Check it out SOON!

Having the proper Attitude, Awareness and Ability to Act Appropriately during the situation is key to overcoming the reactionary state caused by fear.

This is a bigger subject than we have time for in today's (almost) daily email. How about we cover each individually.

But, before we get into that...

Let's cover one of the key components that precludes this and will help you BIG TIME! When it comes to gaining and maintaining Baseline...

Tactical Grounding...

WTH?! Is "Tactical Grounding?"

I'm glad you asked...

It is a simple method for quickly gaining your composure so that you can gain and maintain baseline during moments of stress and conflict.

It's a simple three step process...

(1) Take a Deep Breath and Stand Up Straight.
(2) Change Your Mindset to Positive Things Like, "I got this!"
(3) Put Your "Game Face" On.

Oh, what is your "game face?"

This is your facial expression the suits the situation.

If you need to appear empathetic. Look the part.  If you need to look stern. Look the part.

Don't appear silly if the situation calls for you to be serious. Don't look mad if the situation requires you to look kind.

You have to be a bit of an actor and remember to...

Breathe Damn It! BREATHE!

I use this a lot when I'm driving!


Keep going,
~Craig


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