How to Not Sell Out & Still Be a Team Player Even When You Don't Agree w/a Decision

 Sorry if this offends... It was too good NOT to post!

Because I teach conflict management and leadership skills for a living, I am often asked by people to help them with challenges that they face at work or in their personal lives. Here is a question that came up the other day that I thought you would benefit from as well:

How to deal with a situation where you don't agree with the idea someone has, but you "have" to go along with it because you aren't in a position to do things your way? How can you be a "team player" even if you don't agree with the decision made? Or maybe you are trying to create a "learning moment" by letting someone make their own choice, because it is their decision, even when you don't agree with it.

Here's the situation:

Say your boss wants you to support a decision that you don't agree with and don't have a say in changing. What do you do?! You don't want to just go with it without saying that you don't agree, but you don't want to be seen as negative either. So, how can you tactfully communicate your opinion that you don't think its a good idea AND show support for them (or the team) even if you don't agree? Be a team player, but have an opinion.

Tough problem right?!

Well, here's an easy (3) three step solution to deal with these situations:

1) Tactfully state your objection.

Say something like, "I hear what you are saying, but it's difficult for me to see how that would work."

2) Then communicate trust & support in them to make their own decision:

"However, I trust your judgement & will support your decision." 


"However, I support the team and will do my part."

*You may want to STOP there and let them do what they are going to do and if their idea doesn't work then move to step #3;.  or if appropriate you may want to communicate step #3 during the conversation. Be careful with using step #3 because it can sometimes cause someone to doubt your trust and support.

3) Help them Save Face w/a (tactful) plan B suggestion:

"However if the (not YOUR!) plan doesn't work, would you be open to trying it another way, or hearing some suggestions?"

Well, there you have it, a tactful, PeaceWalker way to get your point across AND show support without "selling out" or being a jerk when you don't agree with someone's idea.

If you liked that tip, then you'd love the entire PeaceWalker Project Conflict Mgt/Leadership Course. Click HERE for more details and upcoming PeaceWalker Seminars.

All the best,



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