Options, Oreo Cookies & Framing Constructive Criticism


Who remembers eating Oreo cookies as a kid? Two chocolatey cookie wafers sandwiching a sugary white frosting double stuff center. I can remember thinking it was like an ice cream sandwich minus the frozen part. 

Do you remember how you ate them? Did you twist the top and scrape off the middle? Or maybe you licked all the way around the outer edges of the cookie's frosting before biting into it? Now-a-days Oreo's have regained if not surpassed their appeal w/me when they come in the form of the Oreo Truffles! I swear it's like crack! And simple to make! You guys out there, if you want to come across like a pastry chef with minimal effort and expertise, here's the recipe for you!  Click here for the killer Oreo Truffle Recipe!

So what do Oreo cookies have to do with conflict management and communication skills? 

Great question! Here are some examples:

Example #1 - Let's say that you are asking someone to do something and they are resisting your request. One effective strategy to persuade them to do as you ask (after giving them a reason for doing as you asked) is to give them choices. The Oreo cookie is used in how you frame those choices.  It's a three step process:

1) Begin with a positive spin on the choice. "If you stop yelling at me sir, I can get you what you need."

2) Then give them the consequence if they DON'T do as you ask: "However if you don't lower your voice, then I'm afraid I am going to have to call security to escort you out of the store."

3) Finish up on a good note: "But I don't want to do that, so can you work with me today?"

Example #2 - Another way of using the Oreo Cookie Method is when you have to give someone some constructive criticism. 

1) Begin by telling them something they did well.

2) Then tactfully tell them what needs work.

3) Finish on a positive note by giving them specific suggestions on how they can improve on what needed work and reassure them the benefits of fixing what was necessary.

And there you have it two communication tactics to make your life easier and a killer recipe to add inches to your belt! What more can you ask for in a free blog!? =)

All the best,


  1. Hate the filling. The cookie should be sold with no filling for those that dislike the shortening sugar filling. The chocolate is the best part.


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