Changing Someones State of Mind

No sun today, but I'm all bright and sunny on the inside!


After seeing everyone at our Krav Maga Academy doing so well, it's hard not to feel a sense of appreciation and pride.

Appreciation for each of the 60 or so people who train w/me down at the academy (and the hundreds more who I have to privileged of working with globally)! 

Pride in watching people from all walks of life, all ages, all backgrounds come together to learn how to be better protectors. To learn how to more effectively deal with the conflict inside and around of us. To learn how to become PeaceWalkers.

I see them working to be better. Working for themselves, but also working for the betterment of everyone as well!

It's not an either / or proposition, it's Both / And!

Remember those young ladies from West MI Academy of Environmental Science that I told you I was working with last week?

Well, yesterday their teacher Rob B. dropped off a nice card and gift certificate to one of my favorite Coffee Houses. (Thanks!!!)

Seeing the notes of appreciation those girls wrote and the looks on their faces when we were training makes it all worth it!

I Love What I DO!

Almost everyday I pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming!

It doesn't have to just be a dream for you...

Learning how to better deal with conflict is essential for your success and fulfillment in your life and career! If you're not on yet, what's holding you back?!

Learn how being a PeaceWalker can change everything you do in your personal and professional life!

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We've Been Talking About Perspective & Focus...

If you remember, we've been talking about how the PeaceWalker's Focus differs from the Victim 's mentality.

Let's quickly (re)review the Victim's Focus v. PeaceWalker's Focus (again):

Victim Focuses on:

(1) The Problem
(2) Helplessness - What They Can't Do
(3) Blame - Someone or thing other than themselves

PeaceWalker Focuses On:

(1) Solutions
(2) Options - What They CAN DO
(3) Action - What's the Next Step

So What Do You DO Specifically?!?

After recognizing that the person you're conversing with is in their Emotional / Victim Mindset, you can better strategize how to handle the situation.

You notice that I didn't say how to handle THEM?!

I chose my words specifically because you have to understand that you may not be able to control THEM directly.

It's not as much about controlling what they do...

It's More About Controlling What YOU Do...

Once you recognize that the person is in this (Victim) Mindset, you may try to rationalize with them. If that works AWESOME!

However, it if doesn't work....

Then it's time to begin controlling the Space Around Them and start thinking about your...

Plan 'B'

Yep, your Plan 'B' is what you're going to do if they DON'T do what you want them to (including agree with you).

Establishing your Plan 'B' isn't something complicated. It could be as simple as agreeing to disagree; to understand that two people can have different opinions.

Don't turn things into a Power Struggle or a Battle of Wills!

You're Plan 'B' May be to simply avoid the confrontation entirely or to leave (if you have that option).

Understanding what is and isn't worth fighting for is wisdom!

Breaking Out of the Victim Mindset...

There are many ways to help break someone out of that victim mindset (including yourself).

Here's One Way...

Introduce them to the...

PeaceWalker Focus...

I know it sounds ridiculous, but you basically walk them through the PeaceWalker Focus:

Get them talking about solutions rather than the problem.


Solutions are different than bitching or continuing talking about what everyone ELSE can do...

No no no...

Ask them to think of one thing THEY Can Do to change the situation.

Notice I said something THEY can do...

Not what everyone else could or should do...

Not even what they Would or Could do in the 'perfect' world...

I said what they CAN DO...

Start them talking about solutions pointing toward things that THEY ARE CAPABLE OF DOING!

Then ask them what's THEIR Next Step?

Baby Steps?

Yes, Baby Steps are important!


Because the HUGE Result you might be hoping for will never happen w/o a million of Small Baby Steps!

The thought of Changing the Entire World May be overwhelming...


Talking to one person is doable and then another and another...

Then those people talk to other people and before you know it, your one small baby step starts to gain momentum and the next thing your single conversation becomes a...


Here are Some Specific Examples

Sales Person Upset that They Aren't getting their Sales Goals, but Just Keeps Making Excuses why things aren't coming together for them...

Help them to focus on Solutions and Activities that they Can Do, like...

(A) Cold Call (yuck)

NEXT STEP: Get a List of Prospects
STEP AFTER THAT: Schedule a time you are going to sit down and call.
NEXT (and Most important) STEP: CALL!

(B) Networking Group

NEXT STEP: Locate a group
STEP AFTER THAT: Make arrangement to attend group.
NEXT STEP: Go to that meeting.

(C) Call Prior Clients (in attempt to 'reactivate' relationship)

NEXT STEP: Assemble Call List
STEP AFTER THAT: Schedule a time you are going to sit down and call.
NEXT (and Most important) STEP: CALL!

These are just three examples of MANY for the sales person..

When it comes to sales, you can't really control sales, only sales activities. You have to be doing sales activities to stimulate those sales. More (of the right) activity will result in more sales. (Over-time, not over-night)!

If you are the 'boss' of this sales person and you've invested real resources in their training, providing proper support and giving them the tools and environment they need to be successful...

The rest is up to them...

Helping them gain the PeaceWalker Focus of looking at:

(1) Solutions
(2) Options - What they Can Do
(2) Action - What the Next Step essential for success, however if they are unwilling to either focus on or Take Action on the right things, you have to have your Plan 'B' ready of what you're going to do!! Which may include reestablishing expectations and unfortunately the possibility of 'position reassessment and reallocation' (termination).

Another Example:

Remember that situation that I outlined on my "I Know What You're Thinking" Blog, regarding the employee continually parking in the Handicap parking spot?

Well, review that and share how you could you use this same structure to deal with that situation?

Write your answer in our facebook group:

If you're not a member yet click here to Join the PeaceWalkerCommunity!

I'm excited to see how you use these tools on the example!

You got this,


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