Dealing w/an Attacker (Not the One You Think)!

Many times when people think of being attacked they think of a physical assault... 

However, attacks come in many forms; Physical, Verbal, Emotional, Legal, Social and More.

Today, I thought I'd share one way of dealing with someone who is gets verbally aggressive when talking to them about something. 

This could happen at work, school, with friends or even at home in your personal relationships.

Insults, blame, shame or being completely shut down is very prevalent today.

How Do You Know...

When you are dealing with this type of bully? 

Simple, when talking no matter how diplomatically you bring your perspective up, they get aggressive and/or try to shut you down completely., 

Keep in mind to pick your battles. If you don't have to deal with this person, remember that you don't have to. Sometime its better to just walk away.

Remember, you can't control others, only yourself. You may be able to influence, however don't get attached to trying to control people. Rather, learn how to listen, be persuasive and have a plan B.

A Few Quick Verbal Tips...

Draw BOUNDARIES on the interaction. 

You could say something like:

I want to hear what you have to say and dialog with you, however when you just shut me down like that, it tells me you don't really want to have a healthy conversation. 

If / Then

If you are going to shut me down, then this isn't a real conversation. (Then end it and walk away).

If we can talk respectfully, then we can have a better conversation. If not, then this conversation is done.

Ask questions

Tell me how you see it.

Acknowledgement statements

I hear you. Do you see where I'm coming from?

Acknowledging Difference

I see things differently. 

Those are some to try out the next time you are in that situation...

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