Hater Tots!


I’m going to just get right to it…

Not everyone is going to like you…

Most probably will, but if you are living Life on your own terms, you’re going to pick up some haters out there.

Aaaaaaand there’s nothing you can do about it.

What’s the solution?!

Beg, plead and kiss their proverbial a$$ to ‘like’ you?!

Nope. That’s not going to help. They’ll just find something else to dislike you for.

So, you might as well save your apologies for folks who deserve it.

You know the saying, “Hater’s gonna hate.”

I know you know that this is especially true online.

I just got some online hater tots the other day… Got some tots talking behind my back in real time as well.

Don’t go out of your way to upset or make enemies, but know that you’re not going to make everyone happy.

It’s NOT you job to!

The higher profile you get the greater the chance that not everyone is going to be diggin’ on what you’re doing.

Stay in your lane and allow them to do the same.

A Fine Line?!

I don’t know how fine of a line it is really, but there is a balance point to it.

The more you hit that balance point, the better things will go for you.

Go be you. Don’t do it at others expense, but go live your life, do your thing, be your own person. Be respectful w/o being apologetic for things you shouldn’t be apologizing for.

They don’t like what you’re doing, they can go and do something else.

Know what I mean Vern?!

They don’t like your blog, podcast, video, fb post, whatever…

Get over it. Move on.

Back in the old days, I used to respond to every comment on all my feeds. The negative ones I’d direct message and 98% of the time I’d be able to bring them around.

I don’t that anymore. I just don’t have the interest, energy or time. Now, aside from using them as examples, I block’em, delete’em, and move on.

It’s a little sticker in the real world, but I try not to waste too much time there either.

Constructive criticism v. Criticism

You have to be able to decipher constructive criticism from (simply) criticism, healthy interaction / suggestion vs. unhealthy, or simply a difference of opinion.

Just like running the academy, you can’t keep everyone happy. Of course you should be keeping your thumb on the pulse of the people you’re leading, but if you are zigging and zagging at every person’s whim, you’ll be as miserable as the people you’re leading… If there are any left!

  • This person thinks we should spar all the time.

  • That person believes we don’t need to spar at all.

  • This person likes class the way it was.

  • That person wants new stuff.

  • This person would like to go harder in class.

  • That person thinks class is to hard.

  • This person wants more grappling.

  • That person wants more stand up striking.

On and on it goes.

You have to find balance.

It’s Tough…

One of the hardest things when it comes to finding balance w/your hater tots is they typically don’t come out of the gate saying, “Wow, dude, you're right! What was I thinking?!”

There is often something behind the heat of their hate. Typically, it doesn’t have anything to do with you or the subject their b*tching about.

You may want to take the time to dig down and figure that out, you may not. That part is totally up to you.

So, How Do You Deal w/the Tots?

First, make sure you have the right mindset (like we’ve been talking here), and be in baseline (calm, cool, collected).

Pick your battles. Not every one of these situations needs to be addressed.

Don’t make it an ‘us vs. them’ thing.

Approach the situation w/empathy and an open mind w/o losing your place.

Listen to what they have to say.

Ask clarifying questions to dig a little to see what’s underneath the heat. Who knows, you may find that they have some valid points.

Either way, by coming at it the right way, you can see the situation (the individual & yourself) more clearly.

This method is as much a diagnosttic tool for exposing how healthy the individual is as it is a method for getting to the bottom of the situation.

After all of that, make your decision how you want to move forward.

Here’s What It Boils Down To…

Learning to deal with conflict and violence more effectively boils down to your Operating System.

Are you are interested in a simple, effective system to develop the confidence to protect yourself and those you love?

Get started here...

Get your hands on my Free Home Study Course: One Simple Defense - https://www.peacewalker.org/

Keep going,



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